x3 pink

Last post

2009-12-27T12:08:00.001+08:00

Closing this blog for good.

So ya, bye!

Happy 3rd month

2009-12-10T22:30:00.004+08:00

Only had time to blog now..

Yesterday went to watch new moon with him =) So nice. Met at 11+ at school back gate there so can go J8 again to repair my stupid phone. It is spoiled again & not even 4 months yet. Within 4 months spoiled 3 times. It suddenly shut down then I can't switch on again, wth. Then reached J8. Then the person see 3 times same problem so said must send for full checkup ._. Needa 1 to 3 weeks. Sian. Then took mrt to AMK. Bought the tickets then walked around the mall. Kinda nice but the ending is kinda ._. Then went home.

Worst fever ever

2009-12-03T15:37:00.003+08:00

Finally have time to blog now. Today is the 4th day of fever.

Sunday:
Went out with mother to buy lunch at 1+ Normally is my kor who went to buy lunch but he was sick so I go instead so that I can go buy @cash, haha. On the way there was kinda hoping that I'll somehow meet him but chances are low. Then after reaching, I turned left to go to Cheers then mother turned right to go buy chicken rice. Then walk walk walk then saw him. Was totally unexpected then my first thought was, why is this guy so familiar? Then talked abit then bought @cash then he left then I go find my mother. Then bought lunch then go home.

Pictures:

Thanks dar for the star hairpin ^^

Monday:
Woke up feeling sick. Couldn't finish breakfast. Feeling hot & cold. Went to sleep from 10+ to about 1. Played for 30minutes then went to sleep again 'cause not feeling well. 2+ woke up & took kor's fever medicine. Went to sleep again till.. Forget le. Sorta no fever le. At night fever come back again. Went to sleep at 10. At 1am, I woke up & couldn't fall asleep. Must have sleep too much during daytime.

Tuesday:
Went to see doctor. Fever 38.9 ><

Wednesday:
Woke up no fever. Afternoon fever came back again. Took medicine & went to sleep. During night fever come back again.

Thursday/Today:
Woke up with fever. Took medicine & sleep from near 11 to 3.

These few days kept on sleeping, like pig sia >< & hope I get well soon cause the medicine sux!!! I hate pills cause I have the tendency to bite before I swallow & when I bite the pill, it has a super disgusting taste!!

Class chalet & 49th day

2009-11-25T16:00:00.013+08:00

Only had time to blog now ><

Sunday; 22 nov:

Class chalet~ Was so looking forward to it haha. Left home at 11.30 and waited for him at the bus stop there so can go J8 to take back my phone. Reach there at about 12+ I think. Not much people there so don't needa wait so long. Then got back my phone. Finally. Wasn't that hungry so only ate a small packet of fries and guess what? I couldn't even finish it. Then we took MRT to hougang. Then waited for people to come then took 89. Then walked & walked. The chalet room was exactly the same as last year one. The guys were like so.. lol? Once reach, they immediately go take table & chairs & take out mahjong & started playing. The scene was so lol. Then nothing to do so sat on the stairs & watched them play. Remembered last year they taught me how to play mahjong during class chalet & I only played a few rounds. After that, I didn't play it anymore. Then went to e hub with him to buy drinks & sweet then go back play cards. Then was playing halfway then suddenly Chee Yuan stood in front of me & sing don't know what. Can only catch the first few words which were 'I don't wanna..' Was so stunned >< Soon the sky turned dark. Not that hungry so ate a little only. & I finally know how to use chopstick ._. Then played cards. Then mother keep called me & ask me go bath ._. So go bath. Then went upstairs played cards again. Then was quite sleepy. Then they say girls sleep on bed then guys sleep on floor. But I don't want to sleep alone.. Then remembered chinese lesson which made me started crying.. Jun Han kept ask me what's wrong but I don't feel like talking.. Just keep on crying & crying.. Then sleep next to him ><>< Then finally fall asleep then someone's phone suddenly ring or something then was woken up again. Then sleep till morning, don't know what time.. Then played cards for a while then played mahjong. Went to eat. Saw bowen teachers. Then went back. Then around 4 left chalet with him. Took bus home. Tired.

Today:

Today was the 49th day so mother woke me up at 7+ but I was very tired so sleep till 8 then get up. Should have listen to him & sleep earlier yesterday.. I'm so stubborn >< Left home with mother at 8+ then go 644 to have breakfast & take the roasted chicken from the chicken rice stall. Then took taxi there. Can take taxi from both side of the road cause can u-turn mah. Then mother said go to the opposite so easier don't needa u-turn. Then waited for a long time & all taxi have people de. & the funny thing is, opposite side de have a lot empty taxi ._. Then I said should have stayed there to wait mah. So went back there to wait. Then reached grandmother's house at 9+, close to 10. Did a bit of homework. Uncle (father's sister's husband) started telling me about JC, degree, PHD stuffs then I just keep nodding head. Haha. Then he was playing mafia wars. Still don't know choose JC or poly. Then don't feel like doing so go outside watch tv. Then near 12 go & eat since nothing much to do also. Then around 1 was a bit tired. Then all beds have people sleeping so I just slept on sofa ._. Around an hour later, woke up. Mother took bus to go buy things first. Then after a while father drive me & kor home. The 10 minute journey became a 45 minute journey ._. Cause father went to amk industrial park 2 & serangoon there to take things. Then he asked if we want drink bubbletea. Kor obviously don't drink that. Then I say I want haha. Then stop by at 644 to buy bubbletea & father ask us buy pizza from the cake shop. He first time treat me sia.. Then reached home at 3+.

Sad love story

2009-11-21T09:36:00.001+08:00

Saw these videos, so sad >< Nearly cried.

Have I achieve?

2009-11-21T09:25:00.003+08:00

Was kinda bored & read through some of my older posts. Found them to be quite interesting? Saw the new year resolutions that I posted on 1/1/09.

Started wondering if I have achieve those resolutions..

My New Year Resolutions:

1. Get B for English.
2. No more writer's block.
3. Do well in Higher Chinese.
4. Get at least a B3 for this year O level Chinese.
5. Be more sensible.
6. Less bickering with kor.
7. Put on more weight, at least 38KG ._.
8. Control myself and don't use computer for too long until the motherboard burn.

1. Managed to achieve B.
2. Stopped writing already so can cancel this resolution.
3. Do quite well?
4. Have to wait for next year then can know result.
5. Well, I don't really know?
6. Hmm.. Not so much ba.. Haha.
7. Yup. Achieved 38kg, haha.
8. Motherboard didn't burn yet =x

Oh wait, I realised that I wrote another post on resolution during chinese new year, haha.

1. Do well for this year O Level Chinese. (at least a B3)
2. Grow taller. (which is like impossible)
3. Do better for Higher Chinese. (at least a A2)
4. Get a B for English.
5. Pass my 2.4km run. (which is like totally impossible)

1. Have to wait for next year then can know result.
2. *shake head*
3. Yeah, got a A2.
4. Gotten a B.
5. *shake head*

Maple maple

2009-11-20T23:33:00.002+08:00

So long never post le. Nothing much to post anyway, just maple & maple & more maple.

My Scarlion Helm ^^

Thanks to him cause his friends sell us VIP slot ^^

& my bunny died on 19 nov =( Sad. RIP bunny.

Bored.

2009-11-14T12:36:00.002+08:00

Kinda lazy to blog nowadays. Nothing much to blog anyway. These few days keep on maple with him & we reached third job yesterday ^^ Then something happened & made me very worried ><

Now feeling so bored~ He went for a course & won't be back till 5plus.. I'm dying soon..

Crazy without you

2009-11-03T21:45:00.002+08:00

Geography: Quite okay. Learn how to read map.

A Math: Going through questions.

SS: Mrs Tan didn't come. So bored.

Physics: Do workbook then learn don't know what thingy.

Chemistry: Went lab & had experiment.

Forgive even if you can't forget.

School again..

2009-11-02T22:28:00.002+08:00

Today is so boring..

Physics: Just doing workbook & learn don't know what. Don't understand anyway.

A Math: Learn about graphs.. Boring..

Chinese: Wasted like 20 minutes cause needa wait for the auntie to open the door. Everytime lock the door one. Then mark workbook.

English: Did compre.

A Math: Learn about circles.

Then went to buy lunch & went home.

Never Let You Go

2009-10-31T21:45:00.003+08:00

Never Let You Go
Janice

The rain, just never seems to bring
The joy, I feel the same
Everlasting pain of my loss remains
My heart, can't seem to learn to part
The hold you left you mark
All that I dreamed of now it seems so stark
Though I told myself won't hold my breath
A part of me was dying
There is nothing left for me to do now
But give in

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't
Live my life without you
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes
And you know I'd never let you go

The way, you left me on the train
I don't know what to say
I remember everything of that day
I can't believe we'd never dance
I just need one more chance
To share the sunset our one last romance
Though I told myself won't hold my breath
A part of me was dying
There is nothing left for me to do now
But give in

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't
Live my life without you
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes
And you know I'd never let you go

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.
I would sing to you and tell you I won't
Live my life without you
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes
And you know I'd never let you go

Last day..

2009-10-30T21:57:00.002+08:00

Today is the 'last day' of school.

Got back report book. Ms Toh only told me that my work is consistent & combined humanities needa work harder ><

English: B3 (just one more mark to A2)
Higher Chinese: A2
A Math: A1
E Math: A1
Chemistry: A1
Physics:B3
Combined Humanities: B3
Total: 530/700

Was kinda disappointed with the subjects with B3.

Firstly, english, could have gotten a A2 if my oral is better.
Secondly, physics, if only I have more time to study..
Thirdly, combined humanities, grandfather passed away = no time study plus can't concentrate = fail ss

Saw Joanne's mark was 541 so most probably I'm second or third in class. Then saw Chong Tian's mark: 531, just one more mark more than me. Always that one mark..

Then left classroom. Saw that bitch outside her classroom so kinda ruin my mood. Don't want see her so just quickly walked away. Then went home.

Perhaps someday, the scar won't hurt anymore and I'll stop crying.. But, I don't know when is the someday..

I hate her..

2009-10-29T21:56:00.003+08:00

Yesterday night started crying.. Really don't wanna see her.. Everytime I see her, my heart hurts, it reminds of many things.. Wanted to call him but he was sleeping so don't wanna disturb him..

Morning my mother called my kor to wake up but he kept on sleeping & I was woken up instead. Was very sleepy then mother kept on calling so very noisy then just go kick his bed but he still don't want wake up ._. Then check phone & someone sms me at 12+ & said wear class tee & I don't know who the person was ._. Wonder how s/he get my number..

Today have the math trail. Kinda fun but tiring also, walk here & there. & I love numerology. Got credit for the AMC.

After school ended, left school with him.. Don't feel like talking so just kept on shaking head.. Somehow feel that I'm very weird.. Everytime if my feeling is too much, I'll have problem breathing properly..

Disgusting day..

2009-10-28T22:15:00.002+08:00

Today woke at 6 so can have breakfast before going to school. Yesterday night sorta fell asleep without telling him >< Then morning saw the sms & missed calls but don't know he woke up anot so didn't sms him. Then went tie hair & my phone was in living room. Then after tie finish saw that he called me >< Went to school earlier than usual cause had nothing to do then started walking here & there then my mother said I very irritating & 'chase' me out of house ._. Then reached earlier so waited for him. Then started tickling each other while walking to school..

Went to Science Centre then cause have the 'body wonders' exhibition so have posters then I see le feel very uncomfortable then just kept on looking at the floor. Then kept on saying, the floor is so interesting. Then somehow kept on accidentally see those posters then started screaming ._.

Went to the omni theatre to watch something about bears. Then sat beside him, hehe. The show is like 45 minutes? Then went back to Science Centre, looked at the beautiful floor again. Then got the ticket then it has the disgusting picture >< This is why I hate biology. Disgusting. Then learn more about bears.

Then went back to school & went to eat.

Scars are meant to be there; to remind you of the past even when you don't want to..

Tickling is fun..

2009-10-27T21:17:00.003+08:00

Lazy to blog nowadays.. Maybe I'll just close blog.. Hmm..

Monday:
Physics did the chapter on light. Somehow found it very familiar 'cause last year learn before. So can understand almost everything.

Math was free period so played cards. One of the round was very lucky, I have spade 2, 8, 10, full house & don't know straight or flush so win pretty quickly.

Chinese was doing correction & getting back worksheets & stuffs. Then still have homework..

After lesson couldn't leave school yet so went to staff room to see can get back english paper 1 anot. Then got 44/60! So happy. 23 for the compo on 'hope' & 21 for speech. Speech anyhow write de lor ><

Tuesday:
Assembly is free period so played 'happy family' using poker cards. Then that Miss Ji kept on talking to me ._. Always talk to me de lor ><

PE played badminton, my aiming sux ><

Went back very late for ss. Then copied notes as usual.

Recess played cards again.

Math become geography then Ms Suan started scolding us. Then go through paper.

Then went to buy lunch then went home.

Didn't laugh so much for so long already.. Tickling you is fun, hehe =x

ABOUT YOUR PHONE.

2009-10-24T22:11:00.003+08:00

Ripped from pearlyn's blog.

ABOUT YOUR PHONE.

01. Grab your phone.
02. What is the 3rd picture of in your phone?
Only got two pictures ><
03. What is your ringtone?
None. 24/7 silent mode.
04. Who's the 1st person that comes up under M?
Mail Deposit ._.
05. Who is the last person you called?
Him.. ><
06. Who was your last missed call from?
Him also.. ><
07. Who's the 1st person who comes up under C?
Cindy.
08. Who's your speed dial number 2?
I don't use speed dial.
09. What does 3rd text in ur inbox say?
Erm.. I don't want to say. Private ><
10. Who was your last received call from?
Him again.. ><
11. What does your 2nd sentbox text say?
Again, I don't want to say. Private.
12. How many messages are currently in your inbox?
ALOT.
13. What is the wallpaper?
I don't use wallpapers.
14. Who's speed dial number 1?
I don't use speed dial.
15. Who is the 15th message from in your inbox?
Again, it's private!
16. Who's the 1st person who comes up under B?
Brother.
17. How many bars of signal do you currently have?
Five.
18. What network are you on?
Starhub.
19. Name every person you have a message from in your inbox.
..
20. What does your 6th text message in your inbox say?
Again.. I don't want say.
21. Who is the first person in your contacts?
Myself, haha.
22. Who is the last person in your contacts?
Zi Hao.
23. What does the last text in your inbox say?
Told you is private le la!
24. What is your screensaver?
None.
25. What is your balance?
$50+ I guess..
26. Who's the last person under H?
Home.
27. What is your bluetooth name?
yanting
28. How many contacts are there in your phone?
Lazy count.
29. Could you live without it?
Definitely not!

I hate weekends

2009-10-24T12:06:00.004+08:00

600th post..

Thursday:
Ms Toh didn't come so had 6 free periods on that day. Had nothing to do while waiting for 8.30 to come then he asked if I wanna play so played a few rounds then went to the dental checkup with Jing Ning & Yu Mei. Went in & there was no one in there. Then waited outside for a while then she came. Cause our surnames are same, she asked if we are sisters, lol lor. Then when is my turn, had to clean my teeth ><

Then went back & saw You Hong carrying my bag. Then had to find Rachel, Safiah & Samantha. Can't find Rachel & Safiah at e3 classroom so lazy go find her. So went to english class to find Samantha. Mdm Lim didn't come so couldn't get back paper 1 >< Then the teacher told us to write essay but I only write one paragraph so didn't hand it in.

Chinese was just going through the paper.

During recess had nothing to do & so went to look at the noticeboard then saw some interesting math pattern. I like this the best.

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321

Can you see the pattern?

After that was free period again. Then Mr Ng came in to give us homework.. Sian.. Then he asked if I wanna play then Cindy sort of become my advisor, sometimes ask her if I should use this or that. First few rounds he was the dealer then I kept winning, haha. Then I kept on using 5 cards. Last year it was Angelina, Cindy & Eunice who taught me how to play & I pick it up pretty quickly.. Then I was the dealer & I lost that round so Jun Han took my place then just stood there & watch them play. Then Vlasta suddenly dragged me to one side & said something that made me quite stunned. Although she said it was just a game, was very shocked & there was a blank look on my face while I tried to understand what she said..

After that went to eat & went to hougang mall to get my jeans. Then walked with him in the mall till 3+. Then went home. Then he told me his house there caught fire & it was just 1 storey above his house ><

Friday:
I hate friday, make me so sleepy.. Basically had nothing to do.. I rather go to school..

During night suddenly had mood swing then my emotions was so unstable. From angry to sad to crying to feeling nothing at all..

Expected: failed ss

2009-10-21T21:31:00.003+08:00

Yesterday night went to lie on bed at 9+.. Then around 10 suddenly chest pain when breathing.. Then pain all the way.. Then he told me to hug bolster tightly.. Then no pain le. Then sometimes had a burning sensation in my throat.. Then near 1 then sleep?

Physics: Got 77.5/120, convert to 100% is 64.5 so round off get 65, B3. Was kinda expecting a B3. Explanation de anyhow write also at least get 1 mark.

English: Only get back paper 2. Got 33.5/50. Should be 34/50 cause I did write that point for the answer but the marker don't want give me that half mark ._.

Geography: 37.5/50 Kinda okay?

Chinese: Was kinda expecting to do badly but surprisingly, I did very well. Got 54.5/70 for paper 1. Got 40/50 for writing the narrative compo 生活需要微笑 but 1 word wrong so minus half mark. So happy, so long never get at least 40 for compo, nowadays always get 30+. Then got 71.5/110 for paper 2. The cloze passage I managed to get 9 out of 10 correct so get 18/20 for this section, improve alot, finally managed to pass this section with flying colours. Compre part did okay okay cause questions are hard so just anyhow write & can get 2 to 3 marks. Summary got 19/20. So shocking. My points are exactly the same as answer so get full 14 marks & get 5 for language I think. So get 126/180. Still needa add the sec 4 prelim marks & I got 74.3 for that. 126 + 74.3 = 200.3/280 Convert to 100% is 71.5, round off is 72.

Then went back to class & the HCL people are like the latest. Then Mrs Ng go through one of the questions. Then realised my answer for the indicator question is correct so plus one mark, so get 83/100 instead.

SS: 21/50. Failed >< Was kinda expecting it? Cause the day before exam went to hospital & very late came home. Then next day woke up at 3 to study but couldn't memorise anything at all cause feelings were mixed up from the news of my grandfather's death, insufficient sleep & stress. Was feeling kinda sad..

Then went eat & went home.

Results:
English:
Higher Chinese: 72/100
E Math: 90/100
A Math: 91/100
Chemistry: 83/100
Physics: 65/100
Geography: 37.5/50
Social Studies: 21/50

Nice results

2009-10-20T15:49:00.002+08:00

Woke up feeling very tired cause not enough sleep. Then went to school as usual.

Had assembly. This friday no school; next wednesday & thursday have post-exam activities (I thought don't have); next friday is 'last' day of school; next next week have extended lesson. The watched a don't know what thing. Then went back class. Got back e math paper 1: 69/80 Lost 5 marks due to carelessness..

Then was PE. Watched them played badminton.

SS didn't get back papers. Then needa go do the quiz, thought I did it online already..

Got back e math paper 2 & a math. Got 94/100 for e math paper 2. At first was 93 then I was checking the paper then realised one of part was marked correct but didn't give me that one mark ._. So went to get that one mark. Total get 90/100 for e math, so happy ^^ A math got 91/100. See le very shock.

Chemistry got 29/40 for paper 1; 46/50 for paper 2 section a; 23/30 for paper 2 section b. Total is 82/100

After school mostly everyone left. So me & him went to hougang point to eat. Then Chih Chieh & Jia Xiang came after a while. Then went home.

Results:
English:
Higher Chinese:
E Math: 90/100
A Math: 91/100
Chemistry: 82/100
Physics:
Geography:
Social Studies:

Long post

2009-10-19T22:33:00.002+08:00

So long never post le.. A bit lazy to post ba.. Going to reach 600 post already..

Thursday:
A Math: Quite okay. Used the word okay instead of easy cause some questions not sure how to do. Took quite a long time to do some easy ones cause brain a bit not working well.

After exam everyone chiong home to chiong computer so only left me & him. Then was basically walking around. So nice, hehe.. Then bought lunch & went home.

Friday:
Woke up at 2 then couldn't sleep.. Around 3 sat on my bed then my kor came in to sleep. Then he saw me sitting on bed then was shocked. LOL. Then went to living room & sat on sofa. Sorta fell asleep then neck very pain.. Then 5+ woke up & went back bed to sleep.

Whole day was feeling very tired for no reason.. Must be cause I'm sick.. Kept on sleeping.. Like pig ><

Satursday:
Went to Sentosa with him & other boys. Reached hougang mall with him at 11. Only Ze Hao was there so waited for others. Then took MRT. Then they had lunch but I not hungry. He offererd to share with me but I a bit shy & also Moy Hong went to eat like half of the food then there was so little left for him..

Then reached there at about 2? Then don't want stay at beach so crossed the shaky bridge to go to a tower. Then spent the time ..... Played cards with him. Then loser has to do something.. But both of us enjoyed it, hehe.

Then went back to beach. Put legs into water but was scare will lose balance so kept hold onto him. Had fun. The funniest thing was Moy Hong's white shirt which, in the end, had black dots on it. Then arms were being sunburnt then a bit red red.

Then went back. We were like walking slower than them & Ze Hao like cannot stand us. Kept on walk behind us. Then went eat at hougang mall cause I very hungry ><

Sunday:
Nothing much.. During early morning dislocated my legs again. But this time worst, is both legs, normally one leg only. Left leg is from knee to ankle the bone like got twisted, always like that. Right leg is the bone at the feet got dislocated. So pain!! During night chatted with him for 1hour plus.. Time seemed to pass so fast..

Monday:
Went to hougang mall with mother. On bus got one auntie like want use her trolley crush my leg like that. Then kept move towards me & still open her trolley, waste space. As if the bus wasn't cramp enough. Then went eat. Saw people use handkerchief 'chop' table. First time see wor.. Normally is tissue but now singaporeans became more creative. Bought 2 shirts, 1 jeans, 1 belt, shoes & wallet. Had been so long since I bought new shirts. Perhaps one year? Then never bought jeans before cause I so skinny & no size for me. So only got one jeans which my aunt bought from china.

Then sorta talked about the past which made both of us cried.. I know you will see this: I'll forgive you =) I won't let there be a tiny crack in our relationship..

至少还有你

2009-10-18T14:40:00.001+08:00

至少还有你
林忆莲

我怕來不及　我要抱着你
直到感觉你的皱纹　有了岁月的痕跡
直到肯定你是真的　直到失去力气
为了你　我愿意

动也不能动　也要看着你
直到感觉你的发线　有了白雪的痕跡
直到视线变模糊　直到不能呼吸
让我们　形影不离

如果　全世界我也可以放弃
至少还有你　值得我去珍惜
而你在这里　就是生命的奇迹
也许　全世界我也可以忘记
就是不愿意　失去你的消息
你掌心的痣　我总记得在那里

我怕來不及　我要抱着你
直到感觉你的发线　有了白雪的痕跡
直到视线变得模糊　直到不能呼吸
让我们　形影不离

如果　全世界我也可以放弃
至少还有你　值得我去珍惜
而你在这里　就是生命的奇迹
也许　全世界我也可以忘记
就是不愿意　失去你的消息
你掌心的痣　我总记得在那里

我们好不容易　我们身不由己
我怕时间太快　不够将你看仔細
我怕时间太慢　日夜担心失去你
恨不得一夜之间白头　永不分离

如果　全世界我也可以放弃
至少还有你　值得我去珍惜
而你在这里　就是生命的奇迹
也许　全世界我也可以忘记
就是不愿意　失去你的消息
你掌心的痣　我总记得在那里

First..

2009-10-14T21:34:00.003+08:00

Tuesday:
Physics paper 1: Very hard, mostly was guessing.

After that had a break but don't want study so chatted with Cindy. After a while saw Li Yan & Angelina so as usual kajiao Li Yan =x

E math paper 2: So easy, know how to do all so kinda confident will get 90 plus?

After that went to eat then go home. Then went to sleep cause tired. Woke up & started coughing.. I thought I recovered already..

Then took bus with kor to go grandmother's house cause needa go there eat for good luck. Then eat. Then it was my third aunt's husband's birthday so had a simple celebration which is just eating cake. Then watched tv & left at 8.30

At night felt horrible, kept on coughing. Cough until wanna vomit. Then throat very uncomfortable.

Wednesday:
Mother & kor left home at 9 cause today is the seventh day then needa pray or something.

Then time pass pretty quickly.. =(

Then my kor brought back food. The food was so cold, so disgusting.. Then don't want eat, left food on table & go sleep. Then father came back, see the food untouch but never scold me, still ask kor shared his food with me cause he go buy mac. My father like never scold us at all since my grandfather left.. So nice wor..

Goodbye grandfather..

2009-10-12T21:55:00.002+08:00

Satursday:
Woke up then my voice was very weird, going no voice le then mother also not feeling well so went to see doctor with her. Whole family sick ><

11+ left home.

Afternoon was nothing much. Then have some rituals thing. Then we are supposed to wear socks then my cousin wear till got a big hole cause she go pull the string. Then about 11+ then finish.

Sunday:
Roughly same thing. Then at night, Jing Ning's parents drive us home, so nice..

Monday:
Chemistry paper 1 was quite okay ba..

After that went to eat. Then he walked me home..

Then Jing Ning's parents drove me there. Reached at near 11? Then changed clothes & stayed at void deck. Then heard my grandfather's spirit came back this early morning, 3+, then went into my aunt's body & scold my father & asked him take care of family. Think he worried about the family & when he left, he can't talk so perhaps can't say his last words?

Lots of kneeling. Then had some ritual thing..

Then 2pm left for cremation.. Then my aunts cried.. When the coffin was pushed in to be cremated, my aunts start shouting & crying.. Made me cry also.. =(

Then went back for more rituals thing..

Finally could take a break, wore out, sick due to the funeral, lack of sleep & insufficient time to study..

More than tired..

2009-10-09T23:20:00.003+08:00

Friday:
Studied till around 6 then feel very tired so went to sleep for 30 minutes. Wake up then feel not really that tired..

Physics paper 2: Kinda okay-okay? Know how to do most of the calculation but don't know how to do explaination parts so just anyhow write.

Geography: Quit okay bah.. Anyhow write lorms..

Feeling quite tired cause not enough sleep & I ate medicine.. Then had sorethroat & my voice is like very weird. Then go eat.. After that went back home to eat medicine then he accompany me go bus stop..

Reached at 2+ then just kept on folding the yuan bao.. Was so tired.. Then had dinner at 7. Then Jing Ning & her parents & brother came. Then my neighbour came & when they wanna leave, they offered to drive me home cause they saw me very tired..

These few days so tired..
1. Wednesday went hospital till 8+ reach home, not enough time study SS
2. In the end slept for 4 hours & woke up at 3 during thursday morning
3. Thursday morning went there till 10+ reach home, didn't study geography or physics at all
4. Only slept for two hours cause wanna study
5. Kor spread cough to me & made me cough till sorethroat
6. Only slept 6 hours for 2 days
7. Very tired..

Tired.. Give me a break..

2009-10-09T03:33:00.006+08:00

Only had time to blog now.

Thurday morning woke at 3am, only slept for about 4 hours. Then my mother said my grandfather left at 1+..

Tried to memorise ss but couldn't.. Don't know what to feel.. So stress up.. So scare that will fail ss as I couldn't remember anything at all.

Went to school at 6 then met him as usual then we went class to study.. Still can't memorise. I only tried to memorise the nationaly identity and common space.

SS: 13 marks gone already.. Hai..

E Math paper 1: One word - easy! If I really want to chiong, can finish using about 1 hour only but scare a lot time left so just slowly do..

After that went to eat then he walked me to the bus stop but the bus is like so long de.. Then went to staircase there.. Then after that bus came..

Reached there & it was 3 already. Tio scolded cause was late. Then needa change into the clothes. White t-shirt & dark blue pants.. Then only me & kor wear that cause we are the only 内孙 then my cousins are all 外孙 so is like we very important. But my kor more important cause he male ba.. Then my aunt said we can't go upstairs often, must stay at the void deck.. Then folded the paper thing (don't know called what) into a 元宝 shape. My couisin teach me once I knew how to do already then my mother & aunts still have to learn very long then know. Then just kept doing that cause they say needa make as many as possible.

Then around 7 went to eat. Then Jing Ning's parents came. Her mother quite nice to talk with. Saw a lot relative also but don't know who is who cause some never see before or see few times only.

Then around 8 went to burn the 'paper' then can only burn one at a time. Then me & kor burn till like 10+ then I said I wanna go home to study.. Didn't study at all.. Then accidentally burn my finger >< Then took taxi home but waited a long time cause no taxi. Then walked till somewhere further up. Then went home.. Went to bath & saw croakcoach!! Unlucky.. Then started coughing so ate medicine (kor's one).. Then studied Physics till 1+ then tired so went rest for less than 2 hours.

Totally tired!

Hope..

2009-10-07T21:26:00.004+08:00

Morning was woken up a few times by my kor he kept on coughing.

English paper 1: Speech came out but don't really know the format >< Then write question 5 which is hope.

English paper 2: Just anyhow do.

After exam saw 2 miss calls, thought something happened to my grandfather.. In the end is my mother bring kor to see doctor then tell me get key from neighbour. Then went to eat. Eat chicken porridge. Then he walked me home..

Aunt called & said my grandfather's condition isn't good so 3+ went with parents to go see him.. Reached there at 4+.. All my aunts & uncles were there already & some were crying.. He had to breathe using the oxygen mask.. Then first time see my father cried.. Then my aunts said he was looking for people.. They tried asking him but he couldn't talk cause no energy.. So asked him questions then if the answer is yes, move his leg. Then he wanna see all the grandchildren. Then called my kor & cousins to come down.. Then everyone went to see him.. Then 6+ was forced to go eat when not really hungry.. Then went up & waited outside the ward, nothing to do anyway. Then waited till 8 then my mother told my kor to bring me home first cause I needa study for exam..

Gonna drop HMT next year..

2009-10-06T21:02:00.003+08:00

Monday:
Was woken up at 3+ cause my kor kept on coughing. Then he woke me at 4+ then saw my kor sleeping in living room cause he don't want disturb me, so nice wor. Then took chemistry book & sat on bed to study. The bed was so tempting.. Then study & study.. As usual, 7+ leave school..

Chemistry paper is easier than expected..

Chinese class was basically free period so played bingo with Li Yan.

English did nothing much. Only needa wrote a 150 words short essay about holiday after exam. Then discussed going ECP after exam.

Math got back test. Got 17/25 for emath. Second question I saw the wrong angle so 8 marks gone >< Careless.. Got full marks for amath. Finally know how to do binomial.

Then he walked me home. Halfway, it started to rain..

Tuesday:
Woke up & it was raining.. Left home when it's not raining but strong wind blow & those rainwater that the leaves accumulated started flowing down ><

Paper 1: One word - hard!! After the exam ended, I turned behind & both me & Yu Mei said that it was hard at the exact same time. Choose informal & narrative but the narrative was hard. Have to write a narrative based on the title '生活需要微笑' So hard!! Was crapping throughout. Do until headache ><

Paper 2: Even harder!! Compre questions were so difficult. Kinda like lit? Have to write what's the meaning of the sentence. Why the writer write that. What's the main content? Use what method to write that paragraph & why? HARD! Do till wanna faint, feel a bit giddy.

Then he waited for me at the corridor then went to hougang point to eat. The queue was long. Then everyone was waiting for the fries. So lol lor. Then Yong Kiat was standing beside me waiting for fries then suddenly ask if we went to the same tuition during p1. It was like so long ago. Eight years already, can't really remember. Then eat. After that he walked me home.. Then he *** me but it was so brief.. But kinda nice.. =)

Switch on com then kor said internet got problem, don't know what PPP thing. Then nothing to do. Asked my mother if she knew Yong Kiat then she still remember. Lol lor. So long ago de thing so remember; recent thing can't remember.

In the end don't know why fall asleep..

Tired..

2009-10-04T22:22:00.003+08:00

Today woke up at around 9. Then eat & prepared to go out. Met him at around 11 at my house's void deck. Then took bus to amk. Then he went to popular to buy foolscap then went to library. Sat at the exact same spot. Then Dion, You Hong & Hwee Min came. Study till 12+ then left. Walked here & there & my toes were pain. Really should get a pair of new shoes.. Then went to mac to eat then Adriel came. He went to mix the sauces together & it became so yucky.. Yucks! Then went back to library. Managed to read finish all the chapter. Then they all were talking.. Felt a bit left out =( Felt tired & requested to rest my head on his shoulder.. Feel so nice wor.. Rest my eyes only.. Then he hold my hand & kept playing with my fingers.. I like to hold his hand =) Then around 5 left & took bus home.. Took pictures, haha.

Then after reaching home, kept have phone calls. My aunts & uncle called & said my grandfather's condition isn't good & wanted my father to go visit him as he is the eldest. Originally wanted to go tomorrow but I have lesson till 1.30.. So stupid.. Why they want to extend lesson.. In the end decided to go today. Reached at around 8. Then have to wear mask. It's so uncomfortable. Saw my grandfather & totally can't recognise him.. His whole face changed.. His legs were like only bones left.. No wonder my mother told me to be mentally prepared.. His eyes were close, my father said he has no energy to open them as he didn't eat at all.. I wondered if he knew I was there.. Then there was this irritating patient who kept on talking nonstop & my aunt got angry & scolded him. Then after about 40 minutes, we left.. They kept on saying that he might just go these few days.. Really scare..

Tiring day

2009-10-02T20:13:00.004+08:00

Today woke up like usual then was feeling quite tired. Walked to school with him like usual.

Went to the usual place then they were talking about don't know what so asked Cindy what they talking about. I only move my lips & not really talk yet Cindy said she heard my voice?! At first though she could read lips or what..

Got back the summaries. Got 14/20 for the one that we were supposed to do for CA2 but Mr Ng didn't include it in. Got 10/20 for another one. Then did correction. Mark the chengyu test then got Samantha's one. She went to write date at the mark there ._.

English did compre but was mostly copying the correct answer.

SS was basically slacking.

Physics copied answer again.

At the corridor there saw Huan Yi & Eunice so went to chat with them as they finding You Hong. Then Huan Yi asked me I waiting for who. So I said them. Then she asked who is the them so I said human. Kinda crapping. Then she said I was waiting for him then said she knew who the person was so Eunice started asking. Was feeling kinda >< so just don't care them & walked away >< Then went to foyer. He want to take back test so went to find Ms Toh. But can't take back. Left school. He went back take books so walked to hougang point with You Hong & Zheng Kang. Then waited for him & bought food & went take bus. Reached there & started eating but saw ants!! Then he killed the ants >< Hate ants >< Don't feel like studying there so feel like going home.. In the end went to AMK library with him. The journey was tiring.. Did chemistry for about one hour? Then went home. Was walking at my block's void deck then saw my neighbour & he was holding my hand. Was kinda shocked so just quickly shake off his hand >< Sorry ><

Tired day..

2009-10-01T21:26:00.004+08:00

Didn't sleep well yesterday night. Sleep at 11+, woke at 1+ to switch off charger, was woken up at 3+ by kor cause he came in to sleep, woke up at 5+ to complete chinese homework. So woke up every two hours. Was so tired. Then prepared for school & left home. I was earlier than him so waited for him.

Got back e math test.. 29/40 only, kinda disappointed with myself. When she go through the questions, I realised that I actually know how to do >< Was feeling very tired & struggled to stay awake.

Did compre & asked Angelina on how do lorms.

Chinese did chengyu test as usual then Mr Ng made us write down the formats for the four types of letter writing.

Math did revision worksheet. Kinda easy I guess? During CE watched the video & some parts are quite funny.

During lunch stayed in class to study geography. Didn't eat breakfast & lunch so was feeling very hungry.

Went to humanities room then have the test. Couldn't finish. I doubt anyone could finish. Then go through worksheet. Felt my phone vibrating when lesson gonna end. Had a bad feeling about it.. Called back & my mother said my aunt called her & said my grandfather's condition is very bad.. So my parents & kor going to go visit him.. Asked if I got bring keys.. Then felt very worried & guilty.. Ever since he got sick during the H1N1 period, I have never go & visit him.. What if he just left.. I would feel very guilty for the rest of my life..

Walked out of school with Cindy, feel like crying but managed to hold back the tears. Very soon, he caught up with me.. Then I just cried.. Still remembered that I asked him yesterday that what would he do if I cried in front of him.. He put his arm around my shoulder.. Kinda like it but he took it back very quickly.. Was almost crying throughout the walk.. Don't feel like going back yet cause I'll feel so lonely.. So said I wanna eat cause I was really very hungry.. So walked to hougang point. The person heard wrongly & thought I want sundae & scold me.. Feel like crying again.. It wasn't my fault.. Then walked home.. Went home & there was no one.. Sat on the sofa & stared at space.. Really don't know what to do.. Tears just kept on flowing down.. Felt tired & went to rest for a while.. Woke up as the phone ring & my shirt was wet..

Thanks you for being there for me.. =)

Just craps..

2009-09-30T16:45:00.013+08:00

Today woke up as usual. Tied finish hair faster than usual so had about 20 minutes left before I left home. Walk to school with him like usual.

Physics was just copying answers.

English did letter writing.

Went to humanities room then Ms Suan haven't come yet. Talked to her but she was like very buay song. So was wondering whether I did anything wrong.. But I didn't.. So nevermind, just gonna keep my mouth shut. Best is don't talk at all. Has lorms test tomorrow.. Still don't know how do..

Chemistry was so funny, keep on laughing.

Math did test..

Then he walked me home.. Next time gonna walk slower..

Holding back..

2009-09-29T19:48:00.009+08:00

This is gonna be a long post..

Walked to school with him but don't really feel like talking.. Still feel guilty about yesterday.. So it was a silent walk.. Reached school then walked to usual place.. Heard them talking about something that didn't involve me at all.. Hai.. it's always like this.. Always being left out..

Assembly was about drugs.. Some pictures are so disgusting.. Don't dare to look..

PE was horrible. Was hit by the ball from the other court. First time it wasn't that pain. In less than a minute, the ball hit me again.. But this time, it hit me so painful & my spec even fall onto the ground.. Then feel abit giddy.. After that was feeling both hot & cold even though I was under the hot sun. My hands were icy cold & my face felt so hot. Went to sit down & talked a while with him.. After a while he went to tell Mr Loo so Cindy accompany me go sick room rest awhile..

Didn't do SS homework so sat on floor.. First time wor..

Math was boring.. Just more & more worksheet..

Go through worksheet..

Wanted to go out de.. But she don't want.. Hai.. Then went PE room find Mr Lim to buy the physics TYS. Don't know why it's always like this.. They don't like it when I pangseh them.. But when they pangseh me, I couldn't say anything at all.. All I could do is to keep my mouth shut & do nothing about it.. It's always like this.. Maybe this is how my life should be.. I remembered yesterday, she asked Angelina only whether she has the chemistry worksheet on salt preparation 'cause she wanna copy the answer.. Angelina couldn't find & I don't know why I went to find mine & lend her despite how she treated me & she didn't even ask me.. I must be crazy.. Feel like the second again.. Perhaps in everything I do.. I could only be the second.. People always don't remember me.. Maybe it won't even make a difference whether I'm in this world or not.. Just something invisible & not needed..

Math did worksheet again..

Went to 644 to buy prepaid card to top up phone then walked back to school.. Went to canteen to wait for him.. Nothing much to do so just study chemistry. Then Rui Ting came at 4+ then told me the conversation was hard. Then she left. After awhile Wei Ling came then she kept say 'si le si le'. Then chatted abit & saw Elizabeth so knew it was his turn le so went to wait for him.. Then walked home.. At my house void deck he said something about movies & that made me remembered many things.. Felt abit sad.. Then he stood in front of me & put his hand on my shoulder.. Had this feeling that he want to hug me.. But saw one woman kept looking at us & I got scare.. =(

I dare say.. I only went to cinemas to watch movie for pathetic three times only. The first time was with family, about 10 years ago.. The second time was last year.. When the china people came for exchange programme & all last year sec 2 hcl people can go watch red cliff part 1 with them.. Third time was this year.. Last year, I suggested a class movie outing.. When I asked them whether they want go or not.. All give me excuses.. In the end, I didn't go at all even though I wanna watch it.. Hai.. This year, beginning of the year, she went to watch red cliff part 2 without asking me.. I remembered last year we already agreed to go watch it together when there is part 2 but she forgot about it.. Hai.. I kept quiet.. I never said anything.. During july she suddenly ignore me.. Felt so alone.. But it wasn't so bad at the start cause he was there.. But changing seats & sitting with that sleeping guy made things worst.. Suddenly felt so isolated from everyone.. Break down quite a few times..

One day.. tears will flow again..

I'm sorry..

2009-09-28T21:12:00.012+08:00

Yesterday slept at near 12.. Morning suddenly woke up so was semi-conscious then my phone vibrated. Looked at the time & it was slightly after 4.. He couldn't fall asleep so sms-ed till it was 5+ & my eyes felt very tired so I fall asleep.. Was woken up by my mother at 6.30. Had a bad dream =( Then walked to school with him like usual..

Physics was like bullet train. Mr Lim just kept on chionging & chionging..

Math did more worksheet..

Chinese was doing workbook correction..

English did letter format..

Math did worksheet again..

Chemistry got back test.. 28/35..

Cried a little.. I really don't want to hurt you.. I'm sorry.. I should have trust you but I really find it hard to trust after everything that happened.. Trust being betrayed again & again.. I really don't want to get hurt again.. I shouldn't have doubt you.. I'm sorry.. I feel so awful.. I shouldn't have hurt you.. Will you forgive me?

I'll Remember You

2009-09-26T15:30:00.002+08:00

I'll Remember You
No Secrets

It has been so long since we have talked
I hope that things are still the same
Hoping they will never change
'Cause what we had can't be replaced
Don't let our memories fade away
Keep me in your heart for always

You made me believe
That I can do almost anything
Stood right by me
Through the tears through everything

I'll remember you
And baby that's forever true
You're the one that I'll always miss
Never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you
No matter what you're goin' through
In my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

I promise you I won't forget the times we shared, the tears we cried
You'll always be the sun in my sky
It may be fate that brings us back to meet again someday
Even though we go seprate ways

You made me believe
That I can do almost anything
You stood right by me
Through the tears through everything

I'll remember you,
And baby that's forever true
You're the one that I'll always miss
Never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you,
No matter what you're goin' through
In my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

If the day should come when you need someone
(you know that I'll follow)
I will be there
Don't ever let there
Be a doubt in your mind
'Cause I'll remember you, you

I'll remember you,
And baby that's forever true
You're the one that I'll always miss
Never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you,
No matter what you're goin' through
In my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

Forever baby, I'll remember you

Hold my hand and never let go

2009-09-25T22:25:00.008+08:00

Today was nearly late for school. Walked to school with someone then when reached parade square it was already 7.41.

Chinese was boring, learn how to write summary using a few methods but I really feel like sleeping so wasn't really listening.

English did oral.

SS did a reliability question. Sleepy..

During recess stayed in class & did chinese homework, managed to summarise 200+ words into about 80 words ^^

Physics did experiment. Scald my finger when pouring away the water ><

Then went to eat with them. Only ate icecream & a bit of his fries. After that, You Hong, Yong Kiat & Zheng Kang went to Chun Yen's house there first while someone accompany me go J8 take phone. Was walking to school back gate & met Chun Yen, Adriel & How Seng. Then walked to the bus stop that is opposite. Waited very long for the bus to come. Reached there at about 3. In the end, really is battery spoiled ._. Guess my sixth sense is accurate afterall, hehe. But when I went to check with the shop, they said not battery spoil ._. Made me one week can't sms >< All my contacts & inbox messages were gone.. Sad.. But my saved messages are still there ^^ Took bus back to school back gate & then took bus to Chun Yen's house there. After reaching, he hold my hand for the first time.. Was very happy ^^ Sat at the bench & watched the 7 of them play for about one hour then went home. As usual he walked me home. Was very happy to be able to spend so much time with him today..

So little time with you..

2009-09-24T22:08:00.004+08:00

Yesterday night felt quite sad.. Really felt like crying.. Hai.. Don't wanna talk about it..

Walked to school with someone but don't really feel like talking.. Walked to usual place & the first thing they told me was that the sky was dark. Didn't realise it when walking to school. Then went back class. At the stair saw her. Even though I don't know her, neither did she know me, I hate her.. I really hate her for causing me to be hurt again & again.. In class, Serene want go the poly thing but her name wasn't tick in the list so I exchanged with her so I don't needa go.

Math go through homework & did worksheet. I was chionging again. Kept on sneezing 'cause air so cold ><

English did summary & vocab. So cold again.

Chinese did chengyu test then got back last week test.. 46.5/70 only.. Then go through on how do summary.

Math was doing more worksheet. As usual, started chionging again. During CE half of class went for the poly thing so did math worksheet. Do till want go crazy le.

Geography was about controlled logging & forest fires. Then asked Ms Suan about how do lorms question 7 & after she said finish, I forgot what she just said ._.'' Then did a bit of chemistry before going to wait for e1 lesson to end.

Library was nothing much. Wanted to slack but that stupid librarian kept on asking me & Cindy to go wrap books. Everytime see us tell us to do this & that. So we very angry with her. & those sec 1 BITCHES did absolutely NOTHING & WHINE NONSTOP. & that stupid girl An Qi so freaking irritating. Sec 1 are freaking slackers. Then that stupid librarian kept on asking us to go wrap so I told Cindy we go wrap book SLOWLY. Then me & Cindy found an origami book. The origami so nice lor ><

Then walked home. Kept on looking around to see I can find him but couldn't.. Felt kinda disappointed.. In the end he told me he waited for me till 5.. I left school slightly after 5.. If only I was earlier.. Hai..

Sad day

2009-09-23T21:52:00.004+08:00

Yesterday night started flipping through chemistry TYS. Then my kor kept say he wanna see his year de questions but this is by topic de so just find 2007 de questions let him see. Then started arguing about the answers. Some he correct, some I correct. Then he said what isotopes is different number of protons ._. Is neutrons lor.

Walked to school alone 'cause someone needa go school earlier.. Sad..

Physics got back test, 6/10 only. Sad. Actually got that thermometer question correct. Then last question used wrong formula ._. Then did worksheet..

English did summary..

Geography have the quiz but is random call 2 people from a table. Then my table all 3 tio ._. Then when she called me, she rephrase the question, made me kinda confused >< But still manage to give correct answer.

Chemistry was boring.

Miss Toh didn't come so needa do worksheet. No one to talk to so what else can I do? Just chiong questions lor. Managed to finish till question 11.. Fast?

Am I the second? 'Cause it really feel like..

Untitled

2009-09-22T21:25:00.002+08:00

Morning woke up like usual. Can't on computer 'cause father at home. Can't use my old phone (which is now my mother's one cause I give her) much if not father will get suspicious as to why I didn't use my own one. Didn't tell him my phone spoiled if not sure get scolded ><

Met someone then walked to school together. Reached school then went to usual place. Then went to sit in class. Then that group 2 teacher a bit crazy, thought I was Jing Ning and gave me the attendance book. Made me both blur & stunned, wondering why she gave me ._. Stupid teacher.

Went back to class & that group 2 teacher came ask me got homework anot then I was like .. Can stop talking to me anot? Just tell her have la then she walked away. So irritating. Practiced some binomial questions then copied the 20 quiz questions for geography.

Shall skipped PE.

SS did reliability skill.

During math no math test. Was feeling quite bored so did some notes for trigo then wrote journal. Finally wrote it. I kept on dragging >< Now the next topic is 'the letter g'. What word should I write? Hmm..

During chemistry did notes then have a quiz. Totally messed up the 4 steps' equations >< So got 8/12 only.

During math a teacher came in so everyone thought Ms Toh didn't come but after a while she came. Go through homework then learn cotangent, cosecant, secant.

Did a bit of homework before going for the extra chemistry lesson. Went to humanities room and e1 pure geography students were there. Sat at the back. Go through workbook & is like kept on copying & copying, didn't even listen to her explanation. Then it was so cold, my fingers could hardly move. Then finally lesson finished. Then someone walked me home.

Long weekend

2009-09-21T16:49:00.002+08:00

Phone spoiled on friday night, can't switch it on >< Sad, can't sms le. & it spoiled after almost one month after I bought it ><

Don't know why these few nights kept toss & turn in bed for like 10 times. Is like suddenly wake up randomly.

Saturday:
Wanted to change blogskin but the new one has some code problem so didn't use it. There was a nice poem-like thing on it:

Dream of me,
make me yours now and forever.
I wanna be everything
that you ever need,
your wildest dream;
your fantasy;
your deepest kiss;
your sweetest smile;
the eyes that look into your soul;
the one and only person
you ever love.

When the night comes
and darkness falls,
I wanna be there
to give you light and warmth;
to glow in your heart.

When the rain pours,
and I'm standing in the cold
waiting for you,
I want you to come and shelter me
and whisper in my ear,
"I Love You"

Sunday:
Just a brief summary: Left home at 12+ with mother to go AMK hub with aunt & cousins. Went with the intention of repairing phone. Reached there at 1+ then went to eat first. Ate chicken porridge, quite nice. But I can't take food that is too hot so kept on sweating. Then when back to shop ask if is battery spoil but is not. Took MRT to bishan. Then went to SE service centre. Reached at 2.55. Waited & waited till 3.55. Exactly one hour ._. Then needa send it for repair & can only get it back after 3-5 days >< So most probably going to get it on friday. & while waiting, a couple kept go blast music, very irritating lor. Somemore the woman sat as if she was at home. Asked if he wanna go hougang mall with me but he said he just came back from there >< Sad =( Took bus 55 & alighted at bowen back gate to change bus. Then 147 came. On the bus saw a primary school classmate. She was still shorter at me, around my shoulder height? Still remembered she sat beside me & kept skipped school, never do homework. In the end made me have to keep help her do correction ._. Then went to popular. Wanted to use the $6 voucher 'cause it expire on 20 sep ._. Don't know what to buy so just bought a physics guidebook. Took bus & alighted at block 666. Then went to buy dinner & went home.

2 more weeks till exam & I'm still not studying yet ><

Rainy day

2009-09-18T21:57:00.006+08:00

Today woke up at 6 to study for chinese test. Then went to school as usual.

The test was hard. The first section needa circle out the wrong word in the sentence & wrote the correct one. I only know which words are wrong & don't know how write the correct word ._. The second section was 词语搭配. The third section has 10 questions. Needa fill in the correct word for the sentence. Although there were helping words, there were 20 & were in hanyupinyin so needa know how to write the words. Know the answers for some questions but don't know how to write ._. The last section was a killer section for me. It was a cloze passage & somemore a very chim one. After test Mr Ng talked a bit about exam. He said EOY is gonna be hard, can say byebye to my A le >< But the good thing is EOY is only 50% of the SA2, the other 50% is prelim & I did quite well for prelim, hope can pull up the overall mark. & somemore EOY have summary!! Didn't do it for like one year already. Feel like dropping higher chinese next year but needa take o level chinese again ._.

During english did oral. Luckily she never called me, as expected, cause she called me twice this week le.

SS was kinda boring.

Physics test was hard >< One question I do by proportion & in the end my answer was wrong >< At most can get 6/10 ba..

After lesson waited for You Hong to copy finish the geography. Then they were playing in the classroom while I read the textbook on how to write summary. Can't understand the methods at all >< Then at 1+ left classroom. Walked here & there. Then finally can go eat. Laughed a bit while eating. Then it was raining quite heavily. They wanted to go Chun Yen's house there play basketball.. when it's raining? Borrowed umbrella from Zheng Kang then someone walked me home.

Interesting day

2009-09-17T20:53:00.002+08:00

Walked to school very slowly so that someone can catch up. Chatted while walking to school. Then walked to the usual place & chatted a little.

A math was boring.

English did compre then she asked me to go write my answer on the board. She called mw twice this week le, hope she won't call me tomorrow..

Chinese did the chengyu test. Then go through textbook.

She teach a bit then let us do homework. Finish 6b very fast then was starting to do 6c when I saw some people looking at something. Looked up & saw a bee! Then Ms Toh saw it & she just stood there motionless, like very stunned. Was very lol. Started looking at the bee instead of doing work. The bee fly down then everyone in front of me all run then I was very shocked >< Then was quite scared. Most of the girls were screaming & running here & there & the boys were just sitting there watching 'show'. Then some funny things happened & started laughing. In the end no CE cause most people were observing the bee. Then the bee fly out when it was near 1.30. The bee is like so stupid, kept go bang the upper window & don't want fly out from the opened windows ._.

Geography was fun. Ms Suan wasn't feeling well so Mr Teo came in instead. Did the groupwork then both Rachel & Safiah wanna write then they 'argue'. Was kinda lol. Then finished very fast so spent most of the time slacking. Then Mr Teo made sound using his fingers then made most girls wanna learn. Was quite fun.

Went to library then wrapped books ._. After that spent the rest of the time slacking. Around 5 then can leave so walked to hougang to find someone & somebody. Someone lent me his a math 10year series so was just flipping through it, don't really feel like doing. Was sorta revising as I read the notes for the chapters that were taught before. Then someone walked me home.

Enjoying every second with you

2009-09-16T16:20:00.002+08:00

Walked to school & it was so hot. Then someone waited for me and we walked to school without talking much..

Mr Lim go through worksheet then did the past year paper he gave on monday.

English was boring, did compre.

During geography had a quiz. Only managed to memo a little.

Only had about 5 minutes left after lunch so just flipped through notes.

The test is kinda easy? Know how to do most except some.

Math is about the radian thing. Kinda easy?

After lesson, someone accompany me go hougang point buy ice cream then walked me home..

Happy ^^

2009-09-15T21:34:00.002+08:00

Yesterday night felt horrible, feel like crying but can't cry suddenly in front of my family. Chatting with him sorta cheer me up a little. But, when lying on bed, started crying.. Don't know why I cried so easily..

Today walked to school feeling very hot. Kept on sweating even when I reached school. Had hair check & I was basically wasting my time by doing nothing.

Assembly was boring. Was totally crap.

PE had the test. Was practising with Jing Ning then she hit till ball hit my spec >< The side a bit tio bend. But Mr Loo managed to fix it so don't have to waste money buy spec, already broke from buying phone ><

SS did the conflicts thing..

Ms Toh came in later. Trigo graph was quite easy.

Chemistry did a quiz, got full marks even though didn't study. Got 2 sweets. Then started on metal part 2.

Math was boring again..

Someone walked me home. Was kinda happy. Chatted throughout & somehow time pass so fast >< Should have walked slower..

Kinda happy; kinda sad

2009-09-14T20:10:00.002+08:00

Don't know how to describe today..

Today woke up feeling kinda tired. For the first time, I managed to tie my hair quite fast. Wasn't even 7 when I tied finish. Then sat on sofa waiting for time to pass.. On the way to school someone help to carry my books for a while..

Physics was boring.. Go through worksheet.

Math was boring too.. Learn arc length.

Chinese was boring too.. Go through textbook.

English was boring too.. Did vocab.

Math was even more boring..

Chemistry went lab.. Ate the mentos someone bought for me while they went to take the crystals. Did titration & my first one failed ><

During chinese got back prelim result. 52/70 for paper 1. Me so stupid & careless, minus 1 mark for letter writing cause I wrote 2009年九月三日 ._. Stupid me! Got 52/70 for paper 2. Double 52. As usual, I did very badly for the front part. Only got 5 correct out of 10. Normal chinese so good, only 1 mark each, higher chinese is 2 marks each. Always lose a lot marks for that section >< Total up mark, 74/100 >< Always that one mark.

Boring holiday

2009-09-10T22:37:00.002+08:00

For once, I wished that there is no holiday. This holiday is the most boring one.

Was woken up at 9 by a sms so just lie on bed & sms till 9.45 then got up.

Was totally very bored! Had been playing FB bejeweled again & again for the past few days.

During late afternoon asked him some questions that were in my mind for a very long time.. But didn't manage to ask the one which is bothering me the most..

Then did some chemistry & a math homework. Still have so much homework left but don't feel like doing.

My mother said my grandfather's condition isn't too well.. Really don't know whether I should go see him anot.. Everything go there only tio scolded for nothing.. Made me & kor hate going there.

& just now my kor accidentally made a fridge magnet drop & my father got angry. WTH lor, it wasn't even broken. Then my kor was obviously not happy & his expression is like so scary.

09/09/09 is a lovely day

2009-09-09T14:37:00.002+08:00

Today is 09/09/09. Triple nine. Found this on MSN website. It's like so cool!

As part of his obsession with numbers both mathematically and divine, and like many mathematicians before and since, Pythagoras noted that nine in particular had many unique properties.

Any grade-schooler could tell you, for example, that the sum of the two-digits resulting from nine multiplied by any other single-digit number will equal nine. So 9x3=27, and 2+7=9.

Multiply nine by any two, three or four-digit number and the sums of those will also break down to nine. For example: 9x62 = 558; 5+5+8=18; 1+8=9.

Sept. 9 also happens to be the 252nd day of the year (2+5+2)

Math is just so cool!

Something happened today, shall not talk about it ^^

I've always think that numbers play a big part in my life & it's like so true. 29 has always been my favourite number & this year, 7 played a very big role in changing my life. Used to think that 7 is my unlucky number but it seemed to be my favourite number now.

Randomly playing with today's date:
9x3=27 (the number 7)
9+9+9=27 (number 7 again)
9x9x9=729 (number 7 & 29)

I Could Not Ask For More

2009-09-09T14:17:00.000+08:00

I Could Not Ask For More
Edwin McCain

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see
The smile upon your face

These are the moments
I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments
I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are
Is everything to me

These are the moments
I know heaven must exist
These are the moments
I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment
Is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me

These are the moments
I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments
I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment
Is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me

I could not ask for more than the love you give me
'Cause it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more

Dreaming Of You

2009-09-08T21:36:00.002+08:00

Dreaming Of You
Selena

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you and I wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

'Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

I wonder if you ever see me (see me)
And I wonder if you know I'm there (am I there, am I?)
If you looked in my eyes would you see what's inside
Would you even care

I just wanna hold you close but so far
All I have are dreams of you
So I wait for the day (wait for the day) and the courage to say
How much I love you
Yes, I do

I'll be dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

Corazón
(I can't stop dreaming of you)
No puedo dejar de pensar en ti
(I can't stop dreaming)
Como te necesito
(I can't stop dreaming of you)
Mi amor, como te extraño

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe
That you came up to me and said
I love you
I love you too

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
'Til tomorrow ('til tomorrow) and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming with you endlessly

(Dreaming with you tonight)
('Til tomorrow) With you tonight ('Til tomorrow)
(I'll be holding you tight)
(And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be) Rather be
(Than here in my room dreaming with you) I'll be dreaming of you tonight
(Endlessly, endlessly)
I'll be dreaming of you tonight
And I'll be holding you tight ('til tomorrow)
Dreaming with you (endlessly) tonight
(Endlessly, endlessly)
(Dreaming)

Sweet without sugar

2009-09-07T20:46:00.001+08:00

These few days were nothing but sweetness.. Yesterday sms till nearly 12, didn't realise time passed so fast.

Today went to school for the SS extra lesson. Was walking halfway then saw ants >< Yucks! Someone was in front of me but somehow, I only dare to walk a few steps behind ><

SS lesson passed by pretty quickly. Finished chapter 5. The chocolate biscuits were nice.

Walked out of school with Cindy & saw quite a lot ex-2e1. Walked halfway through the park already then he asked if I wanna go eat with them. Then decided to go since go home can only eat maggi mee >< Then walked back to school. On the way saw Angelina then decided to walk with her. She went back classroom to take her SS things so I went with her. Saw Li Yan & Pearlyn sitting outside classroom. Think they thought SS lesson is at classroom. The door was locked so Li Yan stretched her hand through the window to take books that were placed near the window. Then they went for their lessons so I went to meet them.

Went to the basketball court. Started playing pokemon crystal since nothing to do. Boon Leng was playing yellow version I think then Dion, Hwee Min, You Hong & Zi Hao were playing basketball. Around 12, Denon & Zheng Kang came & Dion left.

Then went to Hougang Point to eat. Was finding seats at Mac then Denon kept go steal fries, so funny lor. Ate ice cream cause wasn't really hungry. Laughed quite a lot. Then they went to mix the food & drinks together till it looked very disgusting ><

Then left & went home.

Wondering

2009-09-06T10:27:00.001+08:00

Wondering
Good Charlotte

If you want me to wait
I will wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I would stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering

Go!

Yeah, yeah!

Since I was a young man
I never was a fun man
I never had a plan and no security then
Ever since I met you
I never could forget you
I only wanna get you right here next to me

'Cause everybody (a-wha-oh-oh)
Needs someone that they can trust and
You're somebody(a-wha-oh-oh)
That I found just in time

If you want me to wait
I will wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I would stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering

Now my life is changing
It's always rearranging
It's always getting stranger than I thought it ever could
Ever since I found you
I wanna be around you
I wanna get down to the point that I need you

'Cause everybody (a-wha-oh-oh)
Needs someone that they can trust and
You're somebody(a-wha-oh-oh)
That I found just in time

If you want me to wait
I will wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I would stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering

Go!

Yeah, yeah!

Yeah, yeah...

Don't tell me
The bad news
Don't tell me anything at all
Just tell me
That you need me
And stay right here with me

If you want me to wait
I will wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I will stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering

You make me happy

2009-09-04T20:36:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was starting to study for test then Eunice told me that the test was postponed so really nothing to do. Then sms till 11+ then sleep.. Today woke up feeling very tired & leg is still pain. Then prepared for school. Was going to leave for school then I bang into the metal door when going out, pain ><

Mr Ng started scolding those who didn't hand in homework for quite a long time then got back si han test. Got 17/20 then was quite happy cause I needa get a minimum of 16 to get A2 for chinese.

English needa write speech but spent most of the time talking.

Got a chocolate cause get 16 for SS CT. Then continued with notes but wasn't really paying attention. Then Ms Toh came in to give out result slip. Was so happy! 6As, 1B ^^ Ennglish got 69, just one more mark to A2 >< Only higher chinese got A2, rest A1 ^^ Improve quite alot. This is like my best result this year ^^ Gonna work harder for term 4.

Did workbook for physics, think this chapter quite easy.

Aww..

2009-09-03T20:20:00.004+08:00

Today woke up at 6 cause wanna study letter format. When woke up, my right leg was like so pain!! Somewhat like the bone from knee to ankle was being twisted 'cause when I touched it, it felt so.. out of place. Rested a while before it returned to normal but still feel pain. Don't know why this happened like once every few months. Had panda eyes again. Then slowly strolled to school 'cause leg pain.

Paper 1: Quite easy? Chose 私函 & 报章读后感.

Paper 2: The ask whether you agree this or that & explain questions are difficult ><

Knew from someone that CE was at AVA room but it feel kinda weird to walk in suddenly.. Then Li Yan wanted to walk to her class via the route beside hall so went with her 'cause thought most probably e1 at AVA room also? Then at the staircase saw Mr Lim then he asked why Li Yan was there 'cause he thought sec 3 should be at AVA room. So sorta drag her up the stairs. Then walked to AVA room. Sad, I no seat at e2 so went to sit with Li Yan at the e1 area. Wasn't really paying attention 'cause totally don't understand. Then that Zu Yao was like so extra, see me & Li Yan don't have the paper so asked Mrs Toh gave us. Stupid lor, I don't want take de.

Geography had a game.

Listened to Mrs Lee crap for like 45 minutes & it was so cold!! At the end kept on sneezing.

Feel like sleeping but still needa study for test..

Happy

2009-09-02T19:17:00.003+08:00

Today was feeling happy.. until someone told me what somebody did, kinda ruin my day. & to someone, it's not your fault.

Yesterday night was feeling kinda sick.. The last sms before I sleep made me very happy..

Today wake up don't know why have panda eyes ><

Physics learn new chapter then do workbook.

English did speech.

Geography got back test paper, got 21/25 ^^ So my combined humanities got 82/100, so happy ^^ Was very careless, I never describe, only list out so only get 3 marks out of 5 ><

Feel like sleeping during chemistry..

Had test.. but is open book ._.

Teachers' day

2009-08-31T21:06:00.002+08:00

Yesterday night can't sleep so morning was feeling very tired.

First activity was to go basketball court for the inter-class game. Can't really see well from where I'm sitting.

Then waited for quite a long time at parade square.

Sat at the gallery again ^^ The highlight of the day is Mr Lim being like a idiot, haha.

Then went home eat then went to sleep at about 1. Woke up at about 2.30.

Then 5+ mapled with Zi Hao. So long never maple le.

I believe in fate, do you?

2009-08-30T22:21:00.002+08:00

Friday night can't sleep. Went to 'sleep' at 12+ but in the end played pokemon till nearly 2 then managed to feel a bit sleepy then go sleep.

Saturday:
My mother started scolding my father 'cause of my grandmother then me & kor tio scolded for nothing. WTH, everytime like that de lor, not happy just vent anger at us. Scold us for kept using computer then I was like, you go ask who don't use computer & study 24/7.

Then during night he started scolding again but I was bathing so wasn't sure what happened. My kor tio scolded pretty badly I think..

Someething else happened, shall not talk about it ^^

Sunday:
Woke up at 7plus then nothing to do so played pokemon. Spent roughly whole day trying to catch that stupid suicune & I managed to catch it after trying for many many times.

During afternoon was waiting for him to wake up but I fell asleep instead >< Slept for about 2 hours.

Still have quite a lot homework not finished yet ><

Hai..

2009-08-28T23:23:00.004+08:00

During chinese did chengyu test then did workbook correction then did workbook.

During english was pretty much slacking then she went off earlier 'cause she have the interview thing. Then left me alone there, staring at the paper..

Did notes as usual..

Moy Hong asked if I wanna play big 2 so go play. Didn't play it since last year after EOY exams. That was so long ago. Had quite good cards but Mr Lim came ><

Physics did workbook & worksheet. Still abit confused about using which formula.

After lesson stayed back a while to play a few rounds with Zi Hao & Moy Hong.

Then went to hougang point to buy lunch.

Then sms & play pokemon till fell asleep..

Addicted to crystal

2009-08-27T21:07:00.002+08:00

Yesterday don't know why suddenly have a lot of ants. Then wanted to go sleep so won't see anymore ants. When I switched on the light, suddenly a lot of ants dashed out of the hole! I was badly shocked 'cause wasn't really mentally prepared. Hai, then I.. Never mind, sms him till I fell asleep. Morning woke up & realised that I didn't reply him cause I fell asleep & he waited for my reply till 12 >< Hai. Then remembered today have chengyu test & once again, I forgot about it >< Walked to school & did math homework.

Boring.. She go through homework & did a few questions.

English did speech. At first should be me & Eunice presenting then she said play scissor, paper, stone & the one who lost had to present. In the end, I won so don't needa present.

Mr Ng never come so spent half an hour reading textbook & the next half talking & playing bingo with Li Yan.

Was feeling very hungry so went to eat. I wondered when was the last time I actually went to eat during recess.. Then the curry is so spicy ><

Did questions again.. Bored..

CE went to hall to listen to talks then realised is by NYP. It was boring..

There was no teacher during Geography so many started using phone or listen to music. Did the worksheet for a while before chatting. Then got pokemon crystal from You Hong & started playing it. So long never play le. My kor used to have crystal version but he don't let me play then somehow, one day, I spoiled it ._. Last time have gold version but it can't be saved >< So can only played till goldenrod city plus it was the oldest version of game boy, needa use battery one.

Somehow was addicted to it & played till 6 plus.

Don't wanna see you sad..

2009-08-26T18:50:00.002+08:00

Yesterday sms till fall asleep.. Morning was woken up sms.. Looked at the time & it was 7.47. Roughly 10 more minutes till my mother would wake me up. So just lie on bed & sms. Then prepared & left home. Before I could step on the stairs, remembered I forgot to refill my correction tape so walk back & asked my mother help me take a refill. Then walked again & walked till the exact same spot & remembered I forgot to take the math worksheet which I had left on the computer table. So walked back again & asked my mother to help me take then she seemed a bit irritated >< I'm so forgetful. Then confirm never forget anything then walked to school.

Physics can somewhat understand but all the heat capacity, latent heat, is specific or not or whatever crap got me quite confuse.

Accidentally dropped my bottle on the floor & water spilled out >< Wo hao ben wor.. Then got back test paper & holiday homework. Got 9 for holiday homework so my english got 68 ^^

Geography was boring. Didn't get back paper.

Chemistry was quite funny. & the metal chapter is so boring.

Got back a math paper. Got around 7 or 8 got 38 which is the highest in the class. Wasn't really expecting to do well then got my paper & I saw I got 38 then was like WTH? The graph part c I go draw the line & I got 1 mark for that? That was like woah, I anyhow do de >< Then still have about 30 minutes left so chatted with Yu Mei & Wei Ling since there was nothing much to do. Then Yu Mei kept calculate the marks if add in test. Then she calculated that for me to get 70 for chinese, I needa get 16/20 for si han test ><

Then walked home.. The sky is s dark, like going rain..

不要伤心了..

Save You

2009-08-26T16:24:00.001+08:00

Save You
Simple Plan

Take a breath
I pull myself together
Just another step till I reach the door
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear your voice
Its drowning in a whisper
It's just skins and bones
There's nothing left to take
No matter what I do I can't make you feel better
If only I could find the answer
To help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

That if you fall, stumble down
I'll pick you up of the ground
If you lose faith in you
I'll give you checkup on through
Tell me you won't give up cause I'll be waiting if you fall
Oh you know I'll be there for you

If only I could find the answer
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know
(Oh)
I wish I could save you
I want you to know
(Oh)
I wish I could save you
(Oh)

Runaway

2009-08-25T23:19:00.000+08:00

Runaway
Linkin Park

Graffiti decorations
Under a sky of dust
A constant wave of tension
On top of broken trust
The lessons that you taught me
I learn were never true
Now I find myself in question
(They point the finger at me again)
Guilty by association
(You point the finger at me again)

I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind

Paper bags and angry voices
Under a sky of dust
Another wave of tension
Has more than filled me up
All my talk of taking action
These words were never true
Now I find myself in question
(They point the finger at me again)
Guilty by association
(You point the finger at me again)

I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind

I'm gonna run away and never say goodbye
(gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away)
I'm gonna run away and never wonder why
(gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away)
I'm gonna run away and open my mind
(gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away)

I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind

I wanna run away
and open up my mind
I wanna run away
and open up my mind
I wanna run away
and open up my mind
I wanna run away
and open up my mind

Hai ><

2009-08-25T19:02:00.003+08:00

Morning woke up feeling quite tired then spent quite a long time tying hair >< Thought would be late for school but didn't. Then went to class & was so bored!!

Assembly was about cyber wellness. Some parts of the videos were quite funny.

PE was volleyball >< I totally sux.

Got back SS, quite shocking cause got 16. This is the first time I actually pass my SEQ!! I anyhow infer also can get 4 marks? Then someone was looking so upset ><

During math learn about trigo. I nearly fell asleep then a sudden sms jolt me awake, lol. After that was feeling quite awake.

Chemistry did notes again, so many things to memo.

During math she continued teaching then got back e math. Got 47/50. Quite happy but there was a part of me feeling quite upset 'cause I'm just so careless >< Zi Hao got full mark wor, smart. Knew you can do it de, must be more confident.

Getting back a math & geography tomorrow, hope that I won't score badly >< A math already lost 6 marks & geography also lost some marks ><

Jigsaw is fun

2009-08-24T22:15:00.003+08:00

Yesterday night played MSN games with Zi Hao till 11+. Haha, I love jigsaw ^^ Then went to sleep at 11+. Can't sleep >< Only slept at nearly 1? Woke up feeling quite tired. Right eye is pain again >< The air was quite cold.

Reached school & saw quite a lot of people in classrooms & not much at parade square. Climbed the staircase halfway then saw them sitting at the usual place so walked down again. Chatted a while then Li Yan suddenly appeared & drag me off. Then she gave me my belated present, haha. It was a necklace with dolphin, quite cute & nice.

Then went to sit at the usual place & usual things happened. Blah blah blah, then went back to class.

Got back physics paper, was actually quite shocked 'cause I got 39/50. Didn't expect this kind of result 'cause some MCQs answers I actually guess and those kinetic particles theory questions I actually invent my own 'theory'. Then realised I wrote an extra zero for the answer & got 2 marks less >< Careless.

During math did math, kinda boring.

After lesson was looking at opposite block to see if I can find Li Yan but didn't see her. Then took bag & ouch, the joint at the elbow there was pain >< Sorta injure myself when I sleep I guess >< Then saw Li Yan at the corridor there then chatted a bit. Chinese lesson was bored, go through textbook.

During english can't get back paper yet cause still got people haven't take yet but can know result. Quite a lot fail & I was scare that I was one of them 'cause I'm 100% sure all my vocabs are wrong! Then when Mdm Lim read my result I was actually quite shock. Got 15/25 & still can get 2nd highest for my band. That was like 'woah' Then did newspaper.

Continued with questions & I just kept on chionging the questions.

Was feeling so hungry then started thinking of things.. hai >< Then Aliah came & actually thought that I was sick ._.

Got back chemistry & once again, I was quite shocked, 40/50. That was like 'woah' 'cause heard e3 alot didn't do well & the highest is like 38? Then go through paper & realised the 3rd question I got the answer but somehow I wrote the incorrect answer ._.

Then waited for afternoon class to start.

Got back chinese, wasn't really good or bad. My cloze passage totally pulled down my overall marks, only got 3 out of 10 questions correct so only got 6/20 >< If I did better at cloze passage, I could actually get a near A2 mark >< Then go through paper. The last question was a 5 mark question & I got 5 ticks so shouldn't it be 5 marks? But got 4 marks only so went to get that 1 mark. But sadly, still stuck at B4, only get 57/90 >< If only my cloze passage was better.. Then waited for quite a long time to get Mr Ng to remark it. Thanks Eunice & Huan Yi for waiting for me. Then was chatting & walking out of school & saw a sms by Pearlyn (not our school one) & it was about the recent TaiWan disaster? (didn't pay much attention to that news) then there was this word '20仙' & I don't know what it means so asked them. Then Huan Yi suddenly said something very directly that sorta stunned me. It was like so random & direct.

Then went home eat 'cause was feeling so hungry ><

Cross finger for SS result tomorrow ><

Sicky day

2009-08-23T17:22:00.002+08:00

Morning woke up feeling quite okay. Then have a running nose, don't know is whether I catch a cold or because I was partially crying.

During afternoon was sitting in sofa sms-ing then suddenly my chest pain (or chest tightness) & I can't breathe properly, kept on gasping for air. So the rate of breathing is faster than normal. Feel a bit giddy also. Really don't know what caused this to happen. Experienced this a few times before already.

In the end fall asleep & slept for about 50 minutes.

Went to search for why I felt this way, 2 possibilities: panic attack or anxiety. 'Cause this 2 both have symptom of chest pain & shortness of breath.

Now my body is like hot, hope I'm not going to have a fever. Cross my finger & hope I'll get well soon.

I felt so guilty

2009-08-22T22:29:00.004+08:00

Today woke up at 9+ then used computer till lunch. Then at 3 left home. The bus so long then come >< Waited for about 20 minutes? Then the cars kept reflect off the sunlight then made my eye go @.@ Bus finally came & it was so crowded. Then stood beside the stairs (to go up). Then realised Zi Hao was on the same bus. Finally reached at 3.30, then everyone (Cindy, Hwee Min, You Hong, Yong Kiat) was there already. Then went to take MRT.

After reaching, was feeling very thirsty & kept saw stores selling drinks or people drinking & made me even more thirsty. Then when about to cross the road, Cindy said don't look at people, look at the cars. Then I said later got people in car drinking then she said won't have de. In the end, saw a guy sitting in a van drinking a can drink ._. LOL sia. Then we both at there laughing. Then she said don't look at people or cars, look at the floor. In the end, saw a bottled drink on the floor. Lol, like everything was against me.

In the end, cathay only left 4 tickets so went golden village. Then Zheng Kang & Zheng Zhuang (sp?) came. There was alot of people there >< Hai, then made Zi Hao & Yong Kiat ran back. After a long time, decided to go AMK hub. Then after MRT reached, don't know where Zi Hao & You Hong ran to. Then followed the rest to go 4th floor. Then they bought tickets for 7pm de. Still have about 1 hours so the boys went to eat while me & Cindy go shop 'cause we both not hungry, I was full from drinking ice lemon tea ._. Then bought present for Angelina. After that just walk around. Then went back to 4th floor about 20 minutes before 7 'cause walk finish le. Then waited for them.

Didn't know that they bought tickets for 3D de. Have to wear the spec thingy & it sort of kept falling ._. Quite funny & touching. Russell was quite funny, at the door there kept on repeating the same thing, throw out his GPS, can't climb up the rope thingy & more.. Then the dog's voice is so funny. Don't understand why everyone laugh when don't know who say 'South America is America.. somewhere in the south' Then after movie feel giddy then nearly fall down ><

While waiting for bus felt sick, forehead feel hot, & feel like crying 'cause I scare walk home... It was so dark.. Somemore you know which month now is.. Don't know why if I went out too long & too late, I'll get sick de >< That time during sec 1, went out with Angelina, Cindy & Eunice to Kallang then I got sick also >< Then waited very long for the bus. Then made someone walk home with me 'cause I very scare >< Sorry..

I felt so guilty today.. Maybe it's all my fault >< If I didn't say that I want to watch 'Up', I won't feel so guilty 'cause I have to sacrifice her so that others won't be unhappy. Someone won't have to ran here & there & fall down & still have to walk me home. & I was afraid Cindy will get scolded for going home late. Hai ><

This can't, that can't; what do you want me to do?

2009-08-21T17:20:00.002+08:00

During chinese had the si han test but I only wrote 2 points 'cause not enough time >< Sure get low mark de. Then during 3rd Sept have to take the chinese prelim paper & so skipped lessons till 12.15pm, good huh? Then needa write a compo for homework ><

During english did reading but was kinda slacking.

One word: Boring. Wasn't really listening.

Physics was quite okay, could understand a little.

After school went mac buy lunch for me & kor. Then was sitting on sofa sms-ing until feel like sleeping & like yesterday, my right eye still hurts, maybe due to not enough sleep?

Really don't know what to do.. If she go, you guys not unhappy. If she don't, I really feel very guilty. So one party have to sacrifice isn't it? Hai.. Maybe it's all my fault.. If I didn't say I wanna watch movie, maybe this wouldn't have happened.. & I don't know why I kept on apologising today..

Last day; should I be sad or happy?

2009-08-20T19:46:00.002+08:00

Someone said he gonna wake me at 5 but in the end never, think he overslept? Anyway, was feeling pretty tired & don't know why my right eye hurts >< Was thinking of today have what lesson when I suddenly remembered the weekly chengyu test!! But no more time to on com & copy the chengyu ><

Didn't study for e math.. Asked Yu Mei for the 10 chengyu & I started studying the 10 chengyu instead of e math, lol~

E Math CT:
One word: Easy!! If no careless mistake, can get around full marks? XD

English did speech. Then Mdm Lim said the writer don't have to present then me & Eunice started saying we want to write.

Did the chengyu test, think I wrote correctly. Then did textbook, the content I don't understand at all 'cause is like so chim & feel like sleeping.

During e math did the angle of elevation & depression, quite easy?

During CE went hall listen to boring talk. At the end, Mrs Guna called Jia Xiang go up stage then he kept at there crapping, then everyone kept on laughing.

During geography learn the other functions then had a 'test'. Then I just anyhow crap.

After lesson went to wait for Angelina 'cause yesterday she said we needa go find adeline lee, that super nagging teacher. In the end, after waiting for very long, she said don't need ._. Waste my time >< Then outside gate saw Li Yan so walked with her till the soccer court there.

Best birthday ever

2009-08-19T22:48:00.002+08:00

Went to sleep at about 12+ & Zi Hao was the first to wish me happy birthday ^^ Then was woken up at 6 'cause Pearlyn smsed me, she was the second one to wish me. Then went to school later than usual.

Went to canteen to study & got my first present from Aliah, Angelina, Cindy & Eunice. It's a bracelet with the word 'peace' on it. Then suddenly became quite hyper. After a while, Li Yan came. Then started doing worksheet that Angelina lend me.

First 3 questions are so easy & finished all 3 in about 30 minutes so had 30 minutes left to slowly do graph. Don't know how to do last part of graph question ><

Still had some times left for geography so went to humanities homeroom. At the end, Ms Suan started telling her bagpacking story.

Discussed answer with Angelina then realised I do wrongly! I wrote the answer for gradient as answer for intercept & vice versa!! I'm so careless!! 4 marks just gone like that. & no wonder when I tried to do the last part, the answer is like so weird ><

Chemistry did the quiz, only needa decide is true or false. Some don't really know so just anyhow choose & guess what, I got all correct. Lol, then got a sweet. Then started on metal chapter.

Math was boring. She did revision first before giving us work to do.

Was walking home when You Hong & Zi Hao gave me presents.

Then opened presents & my kor kept eyeing at the ferrero rocher.

Then mapled a while with Zi Hao. Then his bunny is like so disobedient. I missed my bunny from my aquila's character >< I trained it till level 29 & it was so obedient. Never mind, I go buy a new bunny XD

So in total, I've gotten...
SE W595 (from myself)
Sling bag (from mother)
Bracelet (from Aliah, Angelina, Cindy & Eunice)
Pink pouch, 10k acash & letter 'y' tag (from Zi Hao)
Ferrero rocher, letter 't' tag (from You Hong)

GG x2

2009-08-18T22:08:00.002+08:00

Yesterday mapled a while. Was opq-ing then Zi Hao needa go eat so pass me leader. Then there was this baka (& his ign have the word 'baka' in it) go kill lucida (sp?) then sealed room only 4 people, how do? Then waited for like 5 minutes? Then other 2 go help him kill then was waiting till quite pek chek. Then was really no mood to play.

Then around 9+ studied geograhy with Zi Hao, after finish testing each other, played MSN games, the jigsaw is so fun. Still remembered 4 or 5 years ago, every week will go grandfather's house then I always go do the jigsaw puzzle 'cause really nothing much to do. Really missed the times whereby everything seemed so carefree & my grandmother was still there & could listen to her telling stories..

Slept at about 12+. Was woken up at 5+ then went to living room. Placed physics textbook on my lap but can't seem to get the concepts into my head. Then was sitting on the sofa till I wanna fall asleep so around 6 went to sleep for a little while. Then prepared for school & left home later than usual.

Geography CT:
Kinda GG already 'cause either write wrong or never answer according to the question >< GG le.

Physics CT:
Seriously only memorise the formula only >< Never memo the kinetic theory concept >< MCQ already made me go WTF, is like so difficult!! Then there was this hydraulic system question which appeared in one of the past year CT paper & Mr Lim did go through it so kinda know how to do. All kinetic theory questions I don't know how to do so invent my own 'theory'. Then do till feel like sleeping ><

Didn't bring e math textbook 'cause yesterday I brought but she didn't come so thought today she won't come too so might as well don't bring. So shared with Wei Ling. Learnt about bearing, quite easy IMO but if they change the sentence, I'll get confuse.

Went to lab. Finished the notes first then did experiment. Then don't know who kept splash water at me so I did the same thing. There was one part whereby they were trying to stir the mixture? then Jeanette was scared that later she put the plastic small spoon (forgot what it's called) in, the thing will explode. Really lol sia, if really explode, whole class die? Then my paper became so 'dry'

Math was like so boring. First, she did revision on linear law then did bearing worksheet. Then that sleeping guy act pro, go write answer. In the end leh, 4 out of 6 wrong.

Reached the void deck then thought can finally go home relax but heard my mother calling me. Then tio drag go hougang point. Then saw Wei Shian walking pass the void deck. Then went NTUC buy things. Then went buy school shoes 'cause my current one is kinda too small? Then saw 2e1 boys outside mac so decided not to take that route if not they'll make don't know what comment. Took another route & saw Jing Ning. Lol sia, like kept see people de.

'Panda eyes' are not nice

2009-08-17T17:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday during night studied Chemistry with Zi Hao. Then went to sleep at 11+ but till around 12 still can't sleep >< Was lying in bed for like 20 to 30 minutes already. Then sms him but woke him up instead >< Sorry. Then sms for a while before I fall asleep. Was woken up by kor at around 3+ 'cause he came in to sleep ._. Then at 5 was woken up by sms & was feeling so tired. Went to living room and saw my father sitting on the sofa, listening to song. Then went to sit on the sofa while trying to wake up fully. Then read notes.

Chinese CT:
At the start wasn't writing very fast 'cause I thought will have enough time but in the end left 30 minutes & I still left 1 passage, 5 questions >< Then just scan through passage & read the questions. Then see where have the similar words then just copy the answers.

Chemistry CT:
Wasn't really that hard, just a few questions don't know.

English did newspaper again but don't really feel like doing so just flip through & act as if I'm reading.

Ms Toh didn't come so did worksheet. Chiong finish all except graph questions with 30 minutes. Then don't really feel like doing so slowly do graph question. Was feelimh quite .. quite .. 'cause of something that happened during english.

Did the titration thing again. At first I didn't stir properly 'cause I take off spec then can't really see well so after adding like 5cm^3, the litmus paper turn blue ._. Then the guys kept on splashing water. Our bench is like so wet & the floor is even more wet. Then heat the solution & it was like so hot.

Then after school get themes from Zi Hao. Thanks ^^

Physics & Geography tomorrow! So today is so called the 'last day' of studying for me 'cause I normally don't study math ><

I'm broke ><

2009-08-16T20:11:00.002+08:00

Today after my parents went to visit my grandfather in hospital, went to AMK Hub to shop with mother. Then tio scolded by father all because I want to buy a new phone 'cause my phone is spoiled & I forever can't open inbox & all my messages are forever stuck there >< Then my mother went to buy a blouse which I don't think look nice. Maybe different people have different taste. Then was walking around B1 for a few times to find the shop, feel like a idiot ._. Then heard the song 'Crush' from a CD store, lol. Then finally found the shop. Spent quite a long time deciding which I want to buy. Then the sale person is quite funny. Then decided to buy W595, $338. Expensive sia >< Then total $340 cause $2 for the screen protection thing. My expensive present for myself ._. Then my mother went to NTUC buy things so just followed blindly while sms-ing. Luckily, didn't knock into anyone. Then went to floor 2 to help kor buy mouse ._. He don't want come then still request a lot. Then was finding the shop while I saw sling bag then remembered that last year, my mother said she gonna buy me one but till now still haven't so ask her buy one for me =x Then I said just buy it as my birthday present cause she never give me one before >< Then went to the computer shop to buy the mouse. Then took bus home. Then gave my old phone to my mother since she don't sms.

In short, I'm officially broke & I have gotten 2 birthday presents already, one from myself & one from mother.

Mixed feelings...

2009-08-16T12:49:00.001+08:00

Was feeling quite upset yesterday. Don't know why he suddenly ignore me when I didn't do anything. Was really afraid that he's going to ignore me like everyone else did.. That I don't know why I just cried.. Thought of the countless times he hurt my feelings and made me even more upset >< Hai..

Had a dream today, don't know if it was good or bad. On one hand, I really want it to be true but on the other hand, it just seemed so unreal, it just seemed like it won't happen. She was there and till now, that scene was still clear in my mind. I don't know why did I dream of her when I wasn't really thinking much about that matter.. Guess I just couldn't let go yet..

SSS, Social Studies Sux

2009-08-14T13:27:00.001+08:00

Yesterday night chiong SS, managed to memorise SL causes & consequences only. Today woke up at about 4.30 'cause the aircon was too cold >< And I remembered that I dreamt of SS ._. Then lie on bed, waiting for Zi Hao to sms back. Then sort of fall asleep a little. Then my phone suddenly vibrated so was jolt awake. Looked for my phone 'cause I scare the vibrating sound will wake my kor up then reacted a bit too fast so accidentally stretch my neck muscle, pain sia >< Then went to living room to study NI causes. Wasn't really tired even though I only slept for like less than 5 hours.

So unlucky, I go memorise very hard for SL but NI came out instead ._. Mostly was recalling what I wrote during the pair work. Die at SBQ 'cause I never answer according to issue ><

At the start, Mdm Lim was quite angry then started scolding don't know who. Then did picture.

Started on new chapter. Then did a group work with Jeanette, Parveen & Syazwan. Then was at there thinking that if no Parveen but got Zi Hao = Chemistry group.

Studied Physics during recess, finally sort of understand the barometer thing.

Learnt about specific heat capacity then did workbook but only did those I know & rest is copy Mr Lim's step. Still a bit blur about the concept.

So hungry now ><

Next monday is chinese & chemistry but still don't really understand the salt preparation chapter ><

I want a new phone ><

2009-08-13T16:58:00.002+08:00

Blogger is finally working! It had been down for me for a few days so wrote all my posts in Microsoft words. So yup, it’s going to be long~

Saturday:
Was feeling very moodless during 6.30 - 7.30. Don't know why every weekend like that de >< During saturday, parents went out to fetch grandmother then during sunday mother went grandfather's house, father went out to drink with friends. Then my kor either com-ing or fall asleep while com-ing. Then everytime sit on sofa nothing to do so watch news from 6.30 - 7.30 but the news are so boring so stared at space instead. Then started thinking of a lot of things .. Thought about a lot of things, really don't know why things always had to end so badly >< This time, don't really feel sad so does that mean the wound is healing? Maybe time will really heal the wound.. During midnight someone was feeling very sad, don't really know what to say ><

Sunday:
Was doing a & e math with Zi Hao via MSN. He teach me a, I teach him e. Managed to finish all except a difficult one. After finishing, opq for a while before watching NDP. The part about terroists was very lame. During night opq again. Played the 'guess my percentage' game, haha.

Monday:
Today went out to study with You Hong & Zi Hao. Woke up at 9+ 'cause thought 11 reach then in the end Zi Hao said 12+ then reach so opq a while. Then around 12 then leave home. Was at the traffic light when I saw bus 72 >< Sad, missed the bus. So waited. Went to top up ez link after reaching. Just nice phone no more money so can't ask where You Hong is >< So waited at the entrance there for Zi Hao to come. Then after he came went to find You Hong. Went to library. Only did one compre mcq question ._. Mostly was crapping. Around 2+ went to mac to eat. I eat ice cream only. Then crapped alot, mostly about ange.. There was one part whereby You Hong started talking about eating monkey brain. That was so gross. Then went to popular & You Hong kept on looking at books so followed him around. After that You Hong went to the arcade so me & Zi Hao took bus home. Then after reaching home, went to on computer then opq.

Tuesday:
Felt quite tired when waking up ‘cause yesterday only slept at around 12? Then tried to be hyper so I won’t fall asleep in school. Was walking along the slope when I suddenly remembered today is the first day of the week so needa go back class to take temperature. Was climbing the staircase & saw some people at the parade square & heard some sec 4 saying go parade square but don’t care, I went to class. Did sudoku as usual. That group 2 chinese teacher really very extra, kept come in.

Assembly was about how to respect Singapore but it was like so boring >< Then we started counting down to how many more minutes left =x

PE played volleyball again. Finally know how to hit back the ball, I quite stupid hor >< Sports sux. Then kept tio hit by ball ><

SS got back the pair work. Even though weigh&link not bad, but only explain one factor correctly >< Wasn’t really listening to the SBQ answer.

Math went through homework, was feeling very very very sian!

During chemistry, Mrs Ng gave back the assignment, look at my mark was like… 14/22 only? Then realized I only had 6 mistakes so shouldn’t the mark be 16? Then realized she mark 1 of my answer as wrong ._. Then ask her to remark it. Then started on the periodic table chapter. There was one part whereby she said alkali metals are stored in oil then Clement started laughing but I don’t know why he’s laughing. Then heard Zi Hao say ‘Oh!’ then suddenly remembered yesterday’s capping at mac then started laughing also. Poor Mrs Ng don’t know what we’re laughing about. & the 2 videos are so cool.

Went to eat lunch then stand at the table but the table very shaky & it affected me, feel a bit dizzy, like going fall down.

Math again & did worksheet. Was chionging the whole way

Wednesday:
Yesterday my phone suddenly spoil ._. If press inbox, the phone will auto shut down then I have to kept on restarting it. Very irritated sia >< But spoil better, have excuse buy new phone XD My phone is like 3 years already >< Then night was playing MSN games with Zi Hao. It was fun. Played till nearly 12 then go sleep.

Morning walked down the stairs & heard some noise coming from the right hand side & I needa turned right to walk to school. Out of curiosity, I looked at where the noise was coming from then saw a bowen girl sitting on the lap of another guy. Then was like .. & quickly looked away. Last week wednesday also saw something like this >< Really needa clean my eyes.

Ms Toh didn’t come & that group 2 chinese teacher came in. I kept at there saying she very extra. Then was telling Cindy about my spoiled phone then she suddenly said in chinese that we must be wondering why she was here. Then she said she’s our co-form, just got transfer last Thursday. Kinda expected it, if not why is she here? Then kept aim questions at us de lor ._.

First period changed to chemistry. Had a quiz but one question wrong so no lollipop >< Then Mrs Ng told us some stories.

English did ‘use your own words’ & ‘quote the phrase’ questions.

Did workbook questions for geography.

Physics was very boring. Really feel like sleeping.

Math did worksheet. Chiong finish it within 45 minutes.

Then walked home very slowly, thought about lots of things…

Now everything is giving me problems; blogger first time had problem, phone also have problem & more & more problems.

Thursday:
English CT is so hard >< All vocab I don’t know how to do >< Some questions don’t know how to do so just anyhow write.

English lesson did vocab.

Had chengyu test, hope I get everything correct. Then got back class test, 39/50. So zhun lor, that time I calculate I’ll lose 11 marks ‘cause don’t know the words then really get 39. Then got back the argumentative essay that we did during march, so long ago wor. Quite happy ‘cause got 37.5/50. Then did correction for worksheet.

Got back a & e math test. E math got 34/40, quite upset ‘cause I kept careless >< A math got 37/45, quite upset also ‘cause I made more careless mistakes. Then checked my phone, got 2 messages so needa load the inbox & there you go, my phone auto shut down again. Was feeling quite irritated.

CE did about being gracious but was mostly slacking.

Had ‘test’ during geography. Not really a test bah. Then got one question I read wrongly >< But the good thing is that I have only written one sentence.

SS CT tomorrow, sure die de ><

Long night

2009-08-08T12:19:00.004+08:00

Yesterday night can't fall asleep, maybe 'cause I slept for a few hours during the afternoon? Ha, don't know, at the end manage to fall asleep. Then woke up at 6+. Lie on bed but couldn't fall asleep. The time seemed to pass so slowly. So around 7+ decided to go use computer. This is like the first time of the year I managed to wake up so early during weekend, haha.

Then was eating breakfast while sms-ing then my phone kept on vibrating then my mother ask me who sms me. Tried to pretend I never hear but she kept on asking ._. Ask is boy or girl, what name & where the person stay ._. Lol, standard questions she would ask about my friends. Then told her lor & she crap a bit but don't really care.

Wanna go watch 'Up' but most probably no one will accompany me de >.< Always like that de, hai..

This is going to be a long weekend..

Random random

2009-08-07T12:17:00.003+08:00

Yesterday night was random. Was doing things then suddenly my kor scream then he pointed to the edge of the table & there was a lizard. Then said what the lizard dropped down from the ceiling (trying to commit suicide?) & landed on his laptop. Then my kor & mother started arguing 'cause he want her to kill the lizard but the lizard disappear. So I just stood at the side & wayched them argue. If I said a word, I would somehow get involved in their arguement so better don't say anything. So might as well go sleep ._. Then was lying on bed the heard lots of banging outside then after a while, my mother came in & said she killed the lizard already.

Morning woke up half an hour earlier 'cause wanna do something which I should have done yesterday but I didn't do 'cause of that stupid lizard.

Went to school & saw Cindy at the corridor, she said not much people in classroom & true lor, can count the number of people using one hand. Then talked about stories of lizards ._. Then group 2 chinese teacher come extra & asked for our names ._. Then took temperature & went down.

The parade was like copying NDP de lor ._. Then went to hall for the concert & we sat at the gallery XD Is like so shiok. Then have lots of singing.

After that went HP buy breakfast/lunch. Then waited for someone to give someone something. Is like so awkward >.<

Boring boring

2009-08-06T19:41:00.004+08:00

Yesterday sms till left 3 cents ._. I used finish $18+ within a week. I have 60 free sms when top up & 10 free sms everyday & I still use finish so fast! Then used mother's phone 'cause she has $30+. & the horoscope yesterday is like so true!!

Actually wanted to reach school late but reached at around 7.30 >.> Didn't bring phone 'cause no battery & money so was feeling very bored.

Math was about finding area using trigo, quite boring. Then after she left, suddenly remembered today have chengyu test!! Feel like slapping myself, how could I've forgotten about it? Then borrowed Serene's paper to copy the 10 chengyu.

Go through the questions we did yesterday, quite boring also.

No chengyu test ._. Made me worry for nothing. Then go through textbook.

Learn about sine & cosine rule, quite boring also. Then she gave damn LOT homework, 4 exercise >.>

Did the survey thing. was basically scanning through the questions so finish pretty fast.

Stayed in class during lunch, don't feel like eating 'cause no one accompany me >.< So did math homework.

Some of the math questions were so difficult, I sure get COP.

Then go for the investiture thing, it's so so so damn boring.

Then went to HP 'cause wanna buy something. Then wanted to buy ice cream but the ice cream machine is spoiled ._. Was feeling so hungry, only ate 2 pieces of biscuit during morning.

Then went home & noticed my father cooked curry. The curry he cooked is so nice. Then was feeling very hungry so kept on eating >.>

What hurts the most

2009-08-05T16:38:00.003+08:00

Was feeling pretty upset yesterday because of someone.. Feel very horrible last night, just kept on crying & crying & my heart hurts a lot.. Feel as if a million knifes stab it.. Don't know why I cried more than usual, I didn't cry this much last month.. Really don't know why he would say things like that to hurt my feeling, was starting to cheer up yesterday & this only made me even more upset.. Thought that someone would actually care for me & I was stupid enough to believe that.. Maybe no one will ever care for me..

Experience points can be earned back, but when some things are gone, you just can't get it back.

Was walking to school & saw PDA ._. Was like .. , it's public & they're doing those kind of things >.>

Physics went through the rest of the questions then needa do o level questions about thermal energy, then don't know how to do >.<

Waited for quite a long time outside e1's classroom 'cause they having lit test. Then realised Mdm Lim didn't come so was basically doing irony questions & slacking.

Went through the test answer scheme & realised that some of my points are incomplete so can't get the mark.

Did group work on periodic table.

Learn more about trigo but really feel like sleeping, too boring.

Daily horoscope from FB, kinda true?

There might be a temporary obstacle in your relationship with someone today, Leo, but whatever this obstacle is, it will have good results. It's sort of like a computer when you've installed some really neat software, but have to shut it down and let it come up again before you can use it. Today is that part of the installation, and, for most of you, before the night is through you'll be playing with a very nice upgrade in the relationship department. The best thing about it is that Eclipse effects last a long time, so if something good happens today, it is only the beginning.

I still hate sports

2009-08-04T16:45:00.003+08:00

After 2 months (June holiday & one month of temperature taking), finally went back to gather at parade square. Practically strolled to school 'cause don't wanna reach too early.

Today Assembly period was used for some national day's activities so was basically slacking. Then his new sleeping style made everyone laugh.

Played volleyball again.

Got back test paper, 5/13 only >.< Some content of the two factors I wrote wrongly so only gave me marks for the resettlement plan.

Was looking at Zi Hao's working when she suddenly asked me which question I don't know, random, random. It was as if she could read my mind. Then spent the two periods finishing the rest of the questions.

Chemistry went through worksheet before starting on ionic equation. Really really feel like sleeping, too boring & no one to talk to =(

Finished up the last 2 questions of trigo & started doing a math but the first question is like so hard. Ms Toh managed to solve it but the working is like so complicated.

I hate the way things have became so awkward now..

Forgotten

2009-08-03T18:26:00.003+08:00

Exactly a month has passed but I'm still living with pain. The wound is healing but it kept on reopening. Will time really heal all wounds? I just wanted to forget everything but it seemed so hard to achieve. The memories still linger in my mind & it just won't leave. While they continue with their happy lives, I'm being left there all alone, wondering what eaxctly have I done & I would never know the answer.. Someone said that I'm different but I don't know. Nobody, except him, seemed to notice, or maybe I'm simply invisible & will only be remembered when I'm needed..

Morning started typing hair but it seemed so ridicules! Went to class & saw a drawing of someone on the whiteboard & it looked cute (I mean the drawing is cute, not the person). Went to get newspaper & did sudoku as usual.

Mr Lim came about 15 minutes late. Then went through '07 common test paper. Then he fell asleep so I purposely go bang his table, I seemed so bad sia >.< Mr Lim was very BYL today & kept make a fool of himself.

Finally learn about trigo, what she teach today is quite easy.

Chinese was well.. Going through textbook.

Recess was feeling quite upset due to something that happened, not telling, only one person knows.

During English felt so .. Really thanks You Hong & Zheng Kang for talking & crapping with me, if not I'll most probably be ...

Went back class & saw Ms Toh standing at the door there then that idiot like went to talk to her. Then when she come in, started asking who drew the drawing, he must have complained to her, if not why would she say that? Then did some class practice & did homework.

Chemistry did titration but the experiment failed 'cause the acid too strong.

Stayed back for afternoon lesson. Only needa mark workbook then after that can leave. Then was doing correction halfway when my phone vibrate, thought someone sms me but it kept on vibrating so most probably my mother called me as I called her just now 'cause don't know she at home anot & I didn't bring key. It was around 4.30 when lesson ended, so just walk back home.

Hair cut

2009-08-02T21:20:00.004+08:00

Went to cut & rebond hair today. Left home at 2+, with my mother, & walk to bus stop to take 74. Was walking towards the bus stop when 74 drove pass us ._. Then needa wait for the next one. Reached there at about 3. Spent about 5 hours there ._. Nearly fall asleep. Then took taxi back & bought dinner at block 644. Shared fishball noodle with kor 'cause not that hungry. Then he wanted put chilli & it's so spicy >.< Now my hair look so weird & little, half of my fringe is gone & hair reach shoulder there only.

If all of these were just a nightmare..

2009-07-31T14:41:00.004+08:00

Today is the last day of July. How I wish that everything that happened in this month is just a nightmare... & it would end soon... But I know that it won't happen... This one month seemed like a torture to me. Really thanks someone for being there for me. Cried again yesterday night. I have lost count of the number of times I cried this month. Been thinking about a lot of things last night, felt so tired...

Went to school & saw him sitting there again. *sign* I won't dare to hope anymore. Everytime I was given hope yet the hope shattered right before me. Took out chinese textbook, trying to do a few questions which I have skipped but seriously no mood. So was just randomly flipping the book, waiting for time to pass.

Chinese lesson was ... Mr Ng released us about 2 minutes earlier so had more than enough time to walk to e1's class alone.

Angelina didn't come today so was just sitting there alone. Was given the picture but I was practising at all, just staring at the paper... Was paired up with Corina (spelling correct? don't know how spell) Was hoping Mdm Lim won't call us but unlucky enough, was the first pair that tio called. She called her number so was a bit relaxing when she suddenly said I needa help her so just say a few sentences.

Mrs Tan didn't come so Mr Sng told us to do a pair work SEQ. Cindy did the writing while I was at there talking about what to write. Finally know how to do weigh & link.

Was able to understand a bit of the barometer thing & Mr Lim was making a fool of himself, as usual.

Testful day

2009-07-30T19:32:00.003+08:00

Went to school & purposely slam a math textbook damn loudly on table. Then finish up compo & studied for test. Then saw his collar very messy, great, does he even know how to wear clothes? Maybe he's sleeping while wearing hahahaha. Then Ze Hao went to fix his collar.

1 hour math went through 6 questions only ._. At this rate, I'm so going to do badly for math. Then he kept on scratching his head! Argh so disgusting! Then cough never cover mouth, basic manner also don't know, totally no jia jiao. Then I kept on shifting to the right until I'm going to fall off chair ._.

English did factual questions, quite boring.

Had double test for chinese. Was quite confident that I wrote all 10 correct chengyu for chengyu test. As for class test, lost 11 marks already 'cause I leave blanks, really don't know how to write the words. For the last section, only 10 words written in hanyupinyin form were given & there's only 5 questions. Only managed to do 1, 2 don't know, 2 know the words but don't know how to write ._.

E Math test was quite easy, finished within 40 minutes. Then at the end, when collecting paper, realised one question I careless! Lost 1 or 2 marks >.>

CE was damn funny. Did on the environment topic.

Geography test was quite okay, but wasn't too sure of the answers. Then slack after lesson.

Wanted to go wait for e1's class to end then saw Ee Lin so 3 of us started crapping. e1's class ended early then went to foyer 'cause Angelina wanted to take something then went up. Then Angelina had fever so she went home so was basically slacking.

Holding back

2009-07-29T17:36:00.005+08:00

Really feel like crying today. I thought I could totally forget it but I can't, the feeling returned again whenever I sat there, it just reminds me of that. Guess emotional wound is just hard to heal. Was trying very hard to hold back the tears.

Did last year's paper, some questions are quite easy but I still don't understand the barometer thing.

English did inferential questions. Copied mostly from Angelina =x There was one question which she did not know how to do then I told her my answer then she sorta disagree with my answer. In the end, when we checked the answer, my answer is correct XD Mdm Lim got real angry during the end of lesson.

Geography did new chapter. Then when I was writing down the sentence on the paper, mostly everyone sitting at the table started laughing & I don't know why they're laughing ._.

Chemistry continued on notes. Had a quiz, only got 12/16 >.>

Math sux. Wasn't really concentrating on whatever she was saying. I purposely do the chemistry worksheet while she was teaching. Then that idiot dropped his pen then like no hands to pick up, kept on calling my name, like expecting me to pick it up for him so I ignored him. He think he what? Why I needa help him? Then Jing Ning & Serene kept on calling me. Then I turned to him, with an annoyed look on my face, & purposely attitude him & told him to pick it up himself. Stupid idiot lah, don't know how put up thing, hand too short? Or no hand at all? Then when she was teaching, he never write anything at all. I'm impressed, he know everything. /sarcastic

Really feel like crying while walking home, had been holding back tears for so long. Walked very slowly, trying to control my emotion although a few drops of tears managed to escape. Was glad that there isn't much people on the path. Always had to act perfectly normal at home no matter what happened..

BYQFW

2009-07-28T17:18:00.003+08:00

Today went to class & purposely slam my a math textbook on table but he never move at all. Pro, really pro in sleeping. Then realised Serene didn't come again so go sat with Jing Ning. Then Ms Suan come & said thursday have test. Now have 4 tests in one day >.<

Assembly was about environment. The video was quite interesting but the starting music was very eerie.

PE went to basketball court. Played volleyball. At first can hit then after that kept miss >.> I think the hitting upwards one (forgot what it's called) is easier. Then Nadiah hit the ball till hit Cindy's face then her spectacle abit out of shape.

SS was quite boring.

Math go through worksheet & some questions she don't know how to do then I kept on laughing =x No trigo for CT 'cause she teach too slow.

Was paying more attention to copying than listening to her to explain ._.

A Math test was quite okay, one question do wrong, graph question forget find a & b value >.> Scare will not score well >.<

Note of the day: ZHQFW F4F4

Moving on

2009-07-27T16:49:00.003+08:00

Left home a bit later than usual. Went to class & tried to pull my table as far away possible away but I pull till I sat very out. Then that idiot go push his table nearer to mine then I pull my table again. Wrote a bit of compo then feel very sian. Then realised Serene didn't come today so move to sit with Jing Ning. I'm like kept on jumping from one place to another, haha, but who won't? Who would want to sit with that idiot?

Physics today wasn't exactly funny. Did workbook.

Math was going through worksheet. Selected for the AMC next week then after that still must stay back for student council investiture thing ._.

Walked to class with Li Yan & she gave me some ideas for the points for compo. Started doing sudoku while waiting. Today's sudoku is quite hard. Waited & waited but Mr Ng didn't come until around 10.45. He said had a discipline case. Was mostly slacking.

Went back to class to do compo.

Did newspaper for english. Just do a bit & played the IQ game Angelina brought.

Continued going through the worksheet. Got back test. Was expecting to do not so well 'cause that day was totally moodless & I just write whatever I could think of. Got my paper & was damn shock, my jaw dropped wide open. Stared at it for a few seconds. Got 43/45. Was very surprising.

Continued going through the test paper then started on new chapter about preparation of salts. Lesson was quite funny.

Seriously doubt she could finish trigonometry 'cause we're still doing circle ._. & exam is like only 2 weeks away. Was worried that she won't be able to finish this year syllabus.

Emptiness in the heart

2009-07-26T11:37:00.004+08:00

Yesterday afternoon my father's voice became all so gentle when answering the phone. Just as expected, it was a phone call from my aunt who just came back from China, probably calling here to ask him to buy things. & the tone is so gentle, never did he used that tone on us. It's just so unfair, he always treat my cousin, other people's children way better than us. Everytime we ask him buy thing like not happy, other people ask him buy immediately go. He just wanted to boot lick his sister 'cause she's rich. Even when raining heavily also don't want drive me to school, his friends ask him to drive them to don't know where he immediately go. Then was kinda angry so I said: 你看他们以后会不会养你. Of course he was speechless. Of course people treat their children better right but he did the exact opposite. As if you treat them so good now, in future they will support you.

During the evening was trying to do math but can't do at all. Tried to think of points for Chinese compo but only came up with 2. My kor went to sleep so only left me in the living room. Watched the same news for the second time. Was curled up on the sofa, looking at whatever things that caught my interest at that point of time. Started thinking of many things. Thought of things that happened this year, in a flash, seven months had passed. Thought of the unlucky number seven. Thought of how much I've lost within this month of July (which coincidentally is the seventh month of the year & 7 happened to be my unlucky number this year). Everything I used to have just slipped off my hand; not because I didn't cherish it but maybe it's just.. fate. Maybe it just had to be this way. Maybe everyone would be happier this way... when I'm out of the picture. I'm not going to try anymore 'cause no matter how hard I tried, I always fail. I'm giving up. Sometimes things are never meant to be yours so why bother holding on to it? Sometimes I'm really tired of faking the smile, the laughter. Tried to laugh when there's a joke, tried to blend in but it just seem so fake. Tried to smile, tried to reassure others that I'm alright but I'm so tired of doing that. I've forgotten how it feels like to have a good laugh; how it feels like to smile & you really meant it.

I'm worth $3640

2009-07-24T15:07:00.003+08:00

Tio tag.

Tick the boxes whichever suits you. Then add up and write as:
I am worth $________.

Ok heres my goal :D

Natural Hair Color:
[x] Brown - $100
[ ] Blonde - $50
[ ] Black - $15
[ ] Bald - $5
[ ] Other - $75

Total so far: $100

Eye Color:
[ ] Brown - $50
[ ] Green - $75
[ ] Blue - $150
[ ] Hazel - $100
[x] Other - $15

Total so far: $115

Height:
[ ] Over 7′ - $200
[ ] 6′8″ to 7′ - $175
[ ] 6′0″ to 6′7″ - $150
[ ] 5′5″ to 5′11″ - $75
[ ] 5′4″ to 5′10″ - $85
[x] Below 5'4" - $0

Total so far: $115

Age:
[ ] 50 to 56 - $175
[ ] 46 to 50 - $150
[ ] 41 to 45 - $125
[ ] 31 to 40 - $100
[ ] 26 to 30 - $75
[ ] 21 to 25 - $50
[ ] 19 to 20 - $25
[x] 0 to 18 - $100

Total so far: $215

Birth Order:
[ ] Twins or more than twins - $750
[ ] Second Born - $150
[ ] Middle Child - $100
[x] Last Born - $100
[ ] Third Born - $550
[ ] Fourth Born - $300
[ ] Fifth Born - $400
[ ] Sixth Born -$215
[ ] First Born - $ 500

Total so far: $315

Drink?
[ ] I did like once or twice - $400
[ ] Only Holidays - $250
[ ] Sometimes - $215
[ ] YES - $200
[ ] Only weekends - $300
[ ] Every other day - $50
[ ] Once a day - $15
[ ] I live from the bottle - $Bankrupt$ (Back to $0)
[x] No - $600

Total so far: $915

Vision?
[ ] Perfect vision - $400
[ ] Need or have glasses/ contacts but dont wear them - $200
[ ] No correction - $100
[X] Glasses - $50
[ ] Contacts - $25
[ ] Surgical correction -$100

Total so far: $965

Shoe Size:
[ ] 13+ - $300
[ ] 12 and a half to 13 - $250
[ ] 11 to 12 - $400
[ ] 7 to 10 - $500
[x] Under 7 - $450

Total so far: $1415

Favorite Colors (four):
[ ] Green - $750
[x] Red - $600
[ ] Black - $100
[ ] Yellow -$475
[ ] Brown - $300
[x] Purple - $225
[ ] White - $400
[ ] Aqua - $350
[x] Orange - $300
[ ] Blue - $300
[x] Pink - $100
[ ] Others [Specify:] - $500

Total: $2640

Did you use a calculator to add it all up?
[ ] Yes - $0
[x] Nope - add $1000
[ ] Some- $750

Grand Total: $3640

Im worth $3640.

Quiz for fun.

Getting better

2009-07-24T14:14:00.004+08:00

It was drizzling when I was walking to school & the air was so cold >.> Went to class & started studying for chinese test.

Had test, forgot one chengyu & forgot how to write 2 words ._. Then Mr Ng said next monday's test postpone to next thurday & next thurday had chengyu test, so double test. Somemore had e math test so triple tests >.> Seriously, how to study? So many chinese words..

English was oral again, was totally very bored. Charles did the picture & it was damn funny, said what the old men in the picture having their last reunion dinner 'cause they dying soon.

SS was boring as usual.

Don't know why he so sad & I don't know what to say >.< Started on the thermal energy chapter. Mr Lim was being retarded again.

Went to buy food. First went KPT to buy for my mother then went Mac. Was waiting damn long 'cause the people in front of me buy so many food. Then after I took the straw, I turned around & saw the 2e1 boys. Was very surprise & my first instinct told me to run ._. Then practically dashed out .. Walked out of the entrance & was trying to sms when I saw two familiar people. Guess what? Is Mdm Lim & Ms Toh. Then just waved at them, feeling very awkward.

It's getting better, didn't feel sad today. Maybe I could finally get over it... Just hope it will..

Parts of me are still missing. If only things could return to the way they used to be..

Don't care too much for I'll start to rely too much on you.

Rainbow after the storm

2009-07-23T18:59:00.006+08:00

Sometimes emotional wounds are just hard to heal... Sometimes when you thought that you have gotten over it, the feeling just suddenly return. Sometimes every single action seemed to have added salt to the wounds.

Went to school as usual. First thing that I noticed was that f-ker still sitting there, sleeping as usual. Then went to my seat & started flipping through random things. Was feeling a bit sick, my hands were very cold & my forehead was hot. Temperature is only 37.2.

Math went through worksheet so was basically slacking. Started sms-ing but I sat infront very hard to do so. So put phone under the table. At the end of lesson, I think she saw me putting my hand under the table...

First thing I noticed was that Angelina didn't come today, felt a bit sad... 'cause all alone... Then chatted with You Hong & Zheng Kang, mostly about that f-ker. Then I kept laugh. Was slacking again since I finished all the questions except the vocab part.

Chinese was okay today. Didn't have test today. Forgot to bring textbook so shared with Li Yan.

Recess went back to class then tio caught by Normala for staying in class >.> Sat at Hwee Min's seat since he went home. Then Rui Ting asked whether she could sat at my seat, beside that f-ker's seat. Then I said she could sit there permanently if she wants to. Then started talking about that f-ker scratching his head & sleeping. Something Cindy said was very true: Last time there were 4 but now left 1 (slowly think what it means)

Ze Hao exchanged seats with me so I can sit with Cindy. Then funny things kept happen. Ze Hao's laughter was so funny.

1. Melissa started playing yoyo when Ms Toh was facing the whiteboard & Ze Hao like want to play also. In the end when Ze Hao played, Ms Toh caught him doing so.
2. Ze Hao like going fall asleep so Melissa bang his table. When he fall asleep again, Jing Ning kicked his chair. Was damn lol.

Started sms-ing during CE while doing homework. I put the phone on table then use worksheet to cover it, hehe. Near the end, that f-ker fell asleep then Melissa banged his table real loud. His reaction? Looked up & fell asleep again! Ms Toh seemed bewildered.

Then went out buy food.

Geography was quite fun. The best part is we were all laughing due to the jokes then Ms Suan said what that f-ker seemed impatient 'cause he want to learn more things then everyone started laughing. Chong Tian said something like he want sleep but we too noisy.

2009-07-22T16:48:00.003+08:00

Thanks Zi Hao for trying to cheer me up. Was chatting a bit with Pearlyn last night, wondered when was the last time I chatted with her. Talked a bit about the oral since same day. Last night was feeling quite erm... don't know how to say. Forgot my dream but I remembered I kept toss in bed. Morning around 7 my mother called my kor wake up while I continued sleeping. Then the door auto open for 3 times. Weird... Watched the Solar Eclipse show but it kept talk crap. Then was raining so my father drove me to school. Then reached school. After closing the door, was trying to turn around to walk to class & I was standing on the staircase. Then I don't know what made the security guard thought that I going lose my balance & he grabbed my arm ._.'

Went to class, put down bag & went to chat with Cindy. Then when I was taking don't know what paper from bag, that f-ker suddenly talked to Cindy & said he exchanged seat with her. Was quite happy. Then suddenly realised were sitting at the exact same place as sec 2. Still remembered Bernard & Li Yan sat behind us.

Physics copied the answer & was trying to figure out what the words are.

E1's class ended late again then waited for quite long. Then Mdm Lim don't know go where so wasted about 20 minutes. Do comprehension & Angelina do so fast, copied some answers from her.

As usual, Ms Suan tested random people. Then revise a bit about Tropical Monsoon & do the test. Finished the test pretty fast.

Went back home to eat before going back to school. Reached there at about 2.12pm. Waited for the teacher come then she checked this & that, gave out the papers & then waited. Listened to songs from the FM while waiting & nearly want to fall asleep. It started exactly at 3.

Some of the questions were tricky, some were straightforward, some needa infer. After the exam, most people were discussing the first question's answer. A lot wrote either C or D. I actually went to memorise my answers ._. CDDDBBCBAD Then walked to Block 644 to buy newspaper but don't have yet so went home.

Another day of suffering

2009-07-21T16:52:00.007+08:00

Cried again last night, had been crying these few nights since last Friday. Night was the only time I could cry after holding back all the tears during the day. My parents had enough on their minds & I don't wanna make them worry about me. I thought I had accepted the fact & the feeling would go away but no, it didn't. The same feeling just hit me again & again. Then started thinking about a lot of things. People always think of me when they needed me but when they don't, I'm just being forgotten, thrown away. It's always like that.. I'm just like a shadow, always being unnoticed. It wouldn't make a difference whether I exist or not.

Morning went to school feeling quite neutral. Went to get the clothes from Safiah & it's brown, really not my colour. So went to change then chatted with Cindy. & was feeling so warm. Took temperature & it shoot up to 37.5. Cool eh, 0.1 more I can go home ._. Then told her my temperature & she seemed a bit shock ._.

Went to hall for assembly. The so-called racial harmony celebration only lasted for about 20 minutes, kinda lame. Then listened to crap speeches. After that needed stay back a while for the briefing & they treated me like invisible again. Never mind, never mind..

Was sitting on the bench along the PE room corridor & stared at the space in front of me. Was thinking about a lot of things. Cindy tried to talk to me but I replied very emotionless. My face was blank; I'm as good as lifeless. Was thinking about how irony it is: People always thought my life is wonderful but the truth is, it isn't. Was talking how bias she was. Even with the new arrangement, already a lot people changed seats & she don't even give a damn. Just plain bias!

Wasn't really concentrating during SS, was staring at the space again.

Recess was better, talked with Cindy & occasionally, Serene. Didn't go down for the phototaking 'cause I am totally moodless & I won't smile..

A Math totally sux. I didn't even bother to do the homework at all. Managed to chiong finish all 3 graphs before lessons ended.

Wasn't paying much attention even though sat with Jeanette. Was only laughing a bit when there are jokes. Got back chemistry test, 22/30, quite good.

Decided not to eat during lunch.

Binomial theorem is simply very easy. Was slacking most of the time.

Went to check tomorrow LC seating arrangement then went to Block 644 to buy food to eat.

Depress

2009-07-20T18:42:00.002+08:00

Yesterday night wanted to play maple then chiong to 47 but he said something that made me upset so just log out and go to random site. I already dread of going to school so please don't remind me of that anymore.

Morning had a fight with my mother so my mood is already damn sucky. On the way, saw Angelina so chatted with her for a while. She asked me how was my weekend & the first word that came to my mind was 'suck'. Then went up the staircase, at block G one, then saw Cindy coming up from Block F one. Then walked into class & saw the f-ker sleeping. Put down bag & books & pulled table as far away as possible. Then went to chat with Cindy for a while.

Then she came & so had to went back to seat. Was giving her the super emo face. Then Rui Ting helped me take newspaper so started doing sudoku. Then after the songs & pledge, she started saying things that were obviously aimed at me.

Was given worksheet at the beginning of the period so thought Mr Lim didn't come. Then he came in at nearly 8.30. So learn about the kinetic motion. Was able to understand some parts.

Math.. I already know the properties so was basically playing with pen, staring at space & only paid little attention. Then that f-ker kept close his eyes & his head was like dropping & seemed like nodding. Was trying to control my laughters. Then after lesson, he talked to Cindy so I asked her what he said. She told me that after english, he changing seats with her so was a bit happy about it.

Chinese was damn f like usual. Mr Ng told us about the LC on wednesday. School ended at 12.30 & only needa reach like about 2.30. Then I could heard them discussing about going out to eat. I'm totally invisible now. Never mind, never mind, I told myself, just don't listen. Then did last year LC. Got 12/20 only >.< Then it was recess, all of them left without waiting for me. Never mind, it was always like this. This had been happening since the fourth day of week 1. I had grown somewhat neutral about it but still feel upset. I really don't know what happened. During the Wednesday of week 1, after school, we went to Angelina's house & the next day, she started ignoring me. I tried to talk to her but she don't care. I really don't know what had happened overnight that made her changed. Everytime during english to chinese or chinese to english, I feel somewhat invisible.

Then went back class to take textbook so can do homework. Then after a while when I went to e1 classroom, that f-king Shiva, for no reason, started scolding me stupid. Hell, I was damn irritated & you're still trying to get on my nerves! Then scolded him idiot. Listened to songs while doing. Can't concentrate, can't do at all. Then was listening to Linkin Park's Runaway & realised the chorus is so similar to how I'm feeling.

I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind

English lesson was great. Today do newspaper but don't really care. Halfway, was chatting with Angelina about Ms Toh's bias-ness, mostly complaining, & a bit of maple 'cause saw the poster about H1N1 then have KoC pictures on it. Was chatting with You Hong & Zheng Kang about maple. Was feeling a bit cheer up.

After lesson, walk back to class & saw Cindy coming down from the staircase. Then that f-ker like forgot what he said, still sat at there. Then was feeling a bit angry about it. Throughout math was mostly staring at space again. Then do worksheet, was practically chionging then that f-ker like want see my answers like that so I purposely block the answers from his view. Then still at there innocently asking Ms Toh questions, feel disgusted, & probably hinting to her then I didn't help him or what. Oh seriously do you think I care?

Chemistry was fun, kept on laughing. Did experiment on solubility of salts. Was washing the the dropper then we kept on forgetting to close the tap & the sink became a mini swimming pool. Then me & Zi Hao kept on laughing. Used the water from the mini swimming pool to wash the dropper instead. Then Mrs Ng used the plunger to unclogged the sink, was damn funny.

After Chemistry asked Cindy to accompany me for a while before chinese starts. Their class ended at 3.45 but then again, it doesn't make any difference whether they are there or not. Then Cindy told me to tahan sitting there for a week & if really cannot, then go tell her. Then I said what reason should I give? & I really feel like shooting this question at her: Are you using me as a tool?

Chinese was the same. Was nearly falling asleep.

Won't be the same

2009-07-19T20:37:00.003+08:00

What Zi Hao wrote on his blog is true. I'm just a tool. Now she put me right in front, with that sucker & expect me to teach him? Now, there is no one I could talk to. It is just like a replay of what happened during chinese lesson. Why are you doing this to me? Haven't I suffer enough during chinese? Now, every single lessons, except for PE & English, it's going to be the same.

Maybe my purpose in life is to be used as a tool. After I'm useless to you, you would just conveniently throw me aside. It's the same everytime.

Why do I bother to try to get good grades, when this is what happened in the end? Maybe if I didn't get good grades, this would never happen.

I have given up trying
'Cause no matter how hard I tried
It won't change a thing
There is no more reason to try

Sometimes things just won't go your way
No matter how hard you tried
'Cause it's fate
And you can't change it

I won't smile anymore
Even if I do
It would be fake
And I don't wanna lie to myself

Sometimes when you lose all hope
Everything seemed black and white to you
And it seemed meaningless too
And you feel lost

I won't be the same anymore

Losing everything

2009-07-17T21:06:00.003+08:00

Just when I thought my life won't get anymore worse, it just became more and more worst.

You have no idea how I feel now.

Why am I losing everything? Why did you have to take away my only source of fun and laughter and throw me into this silent world? Just when I was starting to cheer up and accept the fact, you simply sentenced me to death. From now onwards, silent was my only company.

I really feel like crying but I dare not. I tried to control but there is a limit, like a rubber band, Everytime, no matter how I feel at school, I always need to put on that fake, weak smile at home. Only when the night is dark and silent will the tears flow.

祸不单行

2009-07-17T14:04:00.002+08:00

Today went to school much more earlier than usual. Then suddenly someone push me from behind. Needless to say, is Li Yan. Then was trying to pull down her tie but she used her hand to block me then I kept say she QFW. Finally managed to pull down her tie at Block F staircase there, hehe. Went to class & see that sucker sleeping. Cool, he came to school early just to sleep. Took out chinese textbook & do the exercise behind the chapter. Then after the temperature taking & stuff, Ms Toh said after english sit according to the new seating arrangement. Saw my new seating arrangement & was shock & angry. & that sucker still have the cheek to say so friendly that he's sitting with me. & my blood started boiling. I practically stormed out of the classroom & saw Angelina at the main corridor. Started complaining to her about the new seating arrangement & all my words come out incomplete & I also don't know what the hell I'm talking & she seemed confused.

Chinese did workbook as Mr Ng didn't come & my blood was still boiling.

English did conversation. My feeling was almost neutral already. Mdm Lim changed our partner so did conversation with Vlasta. & she really talks alot.

Walked back to class & was controlling my emotion. Put down my bag & then got one idiot still laugh at me, so 幸灾乐祸. & it made my blood boil again. Then pulled my table as far away as possible. Then kept lean towards the right. Then Mrs Tan tested us about the causes & consequences of the SL conflict & she asked Mr Sng for random numbers. Then I was like oh no oh no, today is the 17th so most likely will call 17. Then first one is 27 which is Zi Hao. Then Mr Sng looked at his watch & saw the date & called 17. Wth >.> Then everyone was like 'ohh', seriously can't be bothered with it. Then can't think of the consequences. After some help managed to write down the points for economic consequences. Went back to seat & was sulking & glaring at nothing in particular throughout the lessons. Then he was so disgusting, kept on scratching his head & wiping off whatever that was on his pants. Was so disgusted & kept on leaning towards the right. Seriously, if looks could kill, everyone I saw would be dead by now.

Recess stayed in class to chat & was feeling much more better. Seriously can't wait for exam to come so can sit 1 by 1. I seriously don't mind sitting in front but I DO mind who the hell I'm sitting with! I know Ms Toh put me there so I can teach him but do you really think that I would give a damn? I will only teach my friends & he certainly don't fall into that category. I'm just going to take it as I'm sitting next to thin air or a comatose or an always unconscious person or simply to put it bluntly, a dead person.

Physics did experiment with the data logger. Was the first few pairs to finish so was basically slacking for half an hour. I went to reset the time 'cause it was 15 minutes earlier =x Nothing better else to do.

Just now was eating then started listing out reasons why 7 is my unlucky number. Come to think of it, it was after July that this chain of events happened & everytime, the same old thing happened again & again. & it was also July that there was a new sitting arrangement. So I expect more unlucky things to happened >.>

Lalalala

2009-07-16T16:33:00.002+08:00

Reached school earlier than usual. Went to class & was very bored so just flip & read through the chapter on trigonometry. Can't understand at all >.> Then realised Zi Hao didn't come today so it's gonna be a boring day.

Ms Toh finally came back. She didn't come this few days 'cause her grandmother passed away... Then go through worksheet. Was occasionally chatting with You Hong 'cause he sat at Zi Hao's seat. Then started on 5.6 & needa draw graph >.> I hate graph. But, this kind of question is quite easy, just needa plot table, plot graph, do question & then done.

Went to English class & the first thing Angelina did was showing me the photo she used for CE's 'My Neighbour' exercise. & the photo she used was none other than the group photo we took at vivo. Then started hitting her & she hit me back.

Continued doing graph for math. She used some of the CE's time to finish teaching. She said tomorrow changing seats already >.< I don't wanna change, I'm very happy with my current seat. Then got the timetable for exam. Saw the dates: 13 to 20 August & started cursing 'cause can't enjoy my birthday. Then realised 19 August is A Math then my mood did a 180 degree change, haha. CE was continued on the 'My Neighbour' thing but heck care & just chatted.

Went to Block 644 for lunch. Suddenly feel hot & cold & my stomach hurts. Totally feel sick. Then when in class, it got worse. Then just rested for 15 minutes & waited for the pain & coldness to go away.

Geography started with the quizing again. Then Ms Suan called my number. So unlucky, the first one >.> Then the question is which forests have thin bark. Quite easy. Then when she called Jun Han, he said the wrong answer then Chong Tian said '1, 2, 3' very slowly, hinting that 1, 2 & 3 are the answers but Jun Han still said 1 & 2. Everyone started laughing 'cause he's so blur. Then briefly go through adaptation of Tropical Mangrove before the short test. Still left about 15 minutes so learn about Tropical Monsoon.

Bored, bored, bored

2009-07-15T16:19:00.002+08:00

Woke up & my legs were sore ._. That's the result of not exercising regularly. It was raining so my mother asked my father to drive me to school. Today was like the first time in this year that he drove me to school. Then when I alighted, I didn't use much force to close the door then Mrs You, sitting on the chair 'cause she's too old, started saying that I should use more force, blah blah blah, she's so freaky irritating lor. Seriously can't be bothered with her then just say okok before heading up stairs.

Physics was boring. Continued on the kinetic particle theory, totally same as chemistry.

English passed by faster that expected ^^ Was trying very hard to concentrate.

Geography had a mini test about tropical rain forest. Then learn a bit about tropical mangrove.

Chemistry test was hard. Was stunned by the 3rd question & it was only MCQ ._. Then just anyhow do.

Math was free period again. Was totally very very bored. Zi Hao was sick so didn't chat with him. Then was randomly looking through my stuffs & wrote the journal that was supposed to be written last term.

After lesson saw Ms Suan getting into a car then was wondering who is the driver. Can't see due to the light reflection. Then when the car was turning, saw that Mrs Ng was the driver & she waved at us, lol.

Finally over

2009-07-14T19:46:00.003+08:00

Was reaching front gate when someone suddenly push me to walk faster. Turned out to be Li Yan. She very scary; always suddenly appear or disappear. Like yesterday, saw her walking along block G then suddenly she disappeared ._.

Ms Toh didn't come again. Guna came in for assembly, kinda sucky but funny at the same time.

During PE, took shuttle run & SBJ, I failed SBJ. Lol, I sux at sport anyway. Took height & weight after that, I nearly underweight ._. Then everyone kept on dragging, don't want go for SS.

Feel like sleeping during SS.

Spent recess practicing reading. Then I kept on pausing or skipped some wrong or read wrong word or replace with another word ._. The more I practice, the more stress I'm.

Free period again. Do worksheet while crapping with Chao Wen, You Hong & Zi Hao.

Chemistry learn about sulphuric acid. Feel like sleeping. Then had a quiz. Then 1 question I go write an extra answer in the end that one wrong. So got 9/10. Got oreo ^^ So long never eat that already. Thanks Zi Hao for giving me his.

Went down for lunch then was eating halfway when Li Yan came. Then after lunch went up to take my bag & went to the homerooms there. We were the first to reach there. Mr Ng said that it was at the math homeroom but the chairs were outside humanities homeroom. Then waited.

Finally my turn to prepare. Read for about 4 times during that 5 minutes. A few words not sure how to read. The passage was about ECP & whatever you could do there. One word was 傍晚. I always read it as 'pang' when it should be read as 'bang4'. Luckily my teacher said before & while waiting, the others talked about it also. If not, I sure read as 'pang'.

Went in & saw the two teachers sitting at the very back of the room, one male, one female. Put down bag & greet them. Then the male teacher asked for my IC. Then let him see while the female teacher ask me to start reading. I think I read every word correctly but my voice a bit shaky. Conversation was something about teenagers not exercising. Only answered 2 or 3 sentences whenever she asked me a question. Asked me about 4 questions so quite average. Suddenly during the end, the female teacher smile at me, quite shocked. The male teacher never talk at all & look quite scary. Then thanked them before leaving. Was happy that it was finally over.

Halfway through the park, two women asked me for direction to block 648, then after that asked me where's AWWA. Then one of them asked me can take 72 to there anot ._. Lol lor, just a few minutes walk.

Went home & asked my mother about the words I'm not sure, think I got them right.

Never-ending laughters

2009-07-13T16:23:00.003+08:00

Physics was very funny. Mr Lim said something like 'take off clothes' & made everyone laugh. He always say the wrong thing at the wrong time or he would use himself as an example & ended up being retarded.

Math was free period 'cause Ms Toh didn't come. Spent most of the time chatting with Zi Hao.

...

Free periods again. Was walking into the class through back door then suddenly Clement laughed then made me laugh also. Then more things happened & laugh even more. Then Ms Chua came & laugh till my voice became weird. Then just kept on laughing & laughing. Chatted about maple with Chao Wen, You Hong & Zi Hao while doing math, although spent most of the time chatting.

After lunch was Chemistry, go through last Wednesday's experiment then go through the worksheet 9. Then me & Zi Hao traded the stickers.

More funny things happened today but I lazy type.

2009-07-12T10:41:00.003+08:00

Friday:

Was pretty upset about two things; 1. Oral mark, 2. Something else.

Walked into class totally mood less then Mr Sng said 'Welcome to hell!' & laughed very evilly. Laugh for the first time in the day. His laughter is more evil & funnier than Hwee Min's. Studied for test, didn't read through the Sinhala only policy as it was too long & in the end, it was one of the given factor so just anyhow write. Mr Sng was so noisy, kept on talking at the start.

Physics learn about barometer & manometer but I just can't understand. Then was just staring at the screen.

Had a fun time mapling with Chao Wen You Hong & Zi Hao. Levelled from 11 to 24.

Satursday:
Played maple for the whole day. Was basically questing. Second job was quite easy.