I actually cried myself to sleep yesterday. I just felt very stress up with all these projects, tests & homework. I tried to force myself not to but the more I tried, the more tears escaped from my eyes. I actually felt better after crying instead of bottling up my feelings. If not, sooner or later, I gonna have a breakdown
again. I was very scared that the next time we have project, they're going to push everything to me again.
When I'm sad, nobody was there for me, wasn't there to listen to me or lend me their shoulder to cry. Maybe I'll never find that someone who will care for me.
& I was alone all along. Today, when I went to school, I was feeling very pek chek. Then Angelina told me about her group PBL thing & I just told her
that. Then Xin Min came & wanna play with me by untying my shoes lace but I wasn't in the mood to play. I already damn pek chek & now when she do this, I felt even more irritated. Then she kept on saying sorry & it only made me wanna cry more. Then Cindy saw Ms Chua & I think she heard me & Angelina's conversation and plus, I was already on the verge of tears or maybe I was crying already, so she told her.
1G.
Do some notes thingy.
2E.
Do summary.
After finishing summary, I went to chiong my math homework 'cause yesterday didn't have time to do because of
that.
3EM.
Go through the worksheet.
Ms Toh damn pro sia. Got one question the length of AC is given but she didn't see so go find the
AC ._. AC is supposed to be 10am but she find till 50/3cm. In the end, SHE GOT THE ANSWER CORRECT! SUPER TYCO SIA!!
Got back E Math test, 37/40!! 1 more marks & my mark will be same as Chong Tian. He damn pro lor, every subjects so good.
4C.
Go through notes.
5CE.
Ms Chua used our CE period 'cause we came in late. Then after that, wanna see us...
Then she scolded the boys who misbehaved in class. Then talked to her & him & me.
Then she talked to me & asked me help her bring her stuffs to staff room. So go with her & Mrs Ng was sitting beside her. Then told Mrs Ng to talk to me & talked till bell rang. That marked the end of CE.
Then went back class & realised that I'm one of the unlucky fews who is going to the Speech Day.
Then they started blaming me when it's not my fault. Fine fine fine if you insisted,
EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT OKAY? HAPPY?Everytime not my fault also blame me but never mind, I'm
so used to it.
I don't feel like crying but ZH kept said I like gonna cry likethat.
L.
Went to canteen & saw Aliah, Eunice & Kezia.
Then talked till I cried again.
6HC.
Mr Ng never come again. Do worksheet and then emo-ing.
There's a sentence in the passage that is quite meaningful: 退休前是为了别人而活， 退休后才是为了自己而活
I thought about alot of things. Sometimes really felt like sleeping forever, just don't wanna wake up. I felt that nobody cares for me at all.
I've lost my will to live. I really don't know what I am living for.L.
Feel somewhat happier.
The number 7 is my unlucky number, period.
Then played truth or dare, so going to kill Angelina for asking me if I'm going out with
him. Argh, she purposely one lor, now everyone know.
Labels: School 2009