Cried again last night, had been crying these few nights since last Friday. Night was the only time I could cry after holding back all the tears during the day. My parents had enough on their minds & I don't wanna make them worry about me. I thought I had accepted the fact & the feeling would go away but no, it didn't. The same feeling just hit me again & again. Then started thinking about a lot of things. People always think of me when they needed me but when they don't, I'm just being forgotten, thrown away. It's always like that.. I'm just like a shadow, always being unnoticed. It wouldn't make a difference whether I exist or not.
Morning went to school feeling quite neutral. Went to get the clothes from Safiah & it's brown, really not my colour. So went to change then chatted with Cindy. & was feeling so warm. Took temperature & it shoot up to 37.5. Cool eh, 0.1 more I can go home ._. Then told her my temperature & she seemed a bit shock ._.
Went to hall for assembly. The so-called racial harmony celebration only lasted for about 20 minutes, kinda lame. Then listened to crap speeches. After that needed stay back a while for the briefing & they treated me like invisible again. Never mind, never mind..
Was sitting on the bench along the PE room corridor & stared at the space in front of me. Was thinking about a lot of things. Cindy tried to talk to me but I replied very emotionless. My face was blank; I'm as good as lifeless. Was thinking about how irony it is: People always thought my life is wonderful but the truth is, it isn't. Was talking how bias she was. Even with the new arrangement, already a lot people changed seats & she don't even give a damn. Just plain bias!
Wasn't really concentrating during SS, was staring at the space again.
Recess was better, talked with Cindy & occasionally, Serene. Didn't go down for the phototaking 'cause I am totally moodless & I won't smile..
A Math totally sux. I didn't even bother to do the homework at all. Managed to chiong finish all 3 graphs before lessons ended.
Wasn't paying much attention even though sat with Jeanette. Was only laughing a bit when there are jokes. Got back chemistry test, 22/30, quite good.
Decided not to eat during lunch.
Binomial theorem is simply very easy. Was slacking most of the time.
Went to check tomorrow LC seating arrangement then went to Block 644 to buy food to eat.
Labels: School 2009